Seventh Year Blues
by Eyesuhkattspeleeng
Summary: It's the last year of school for Siobhan Carncross and she wants nothing more than to date Severus Snape. A tale of first loves, awkward firsts, friendship and of course, eccentric mothers. SSOC Rated M for mature themes and bad language.
1. Seventh Year Blues

**Disclaimer: Everything, except Siobhan is J.K. Rowling. She's letting me borrow the rest. All Hail Jo! Keeper of Keys! Wait that's Hagrid...um...yeah. **

**SC **

It all started the summer my boobs finally decided to grow. I didn't even realize it until my mother, Fiona as she preferred me to call her, dragged me to Diagon Alley insisting that I get fitted for new robes because she said it looked like I had grown. Well, she was right. I hadn't grown in height or weight; my bust had grown from a meager a cup to an admirable c cup. My mother had practically started crying with joy when the final measurements were in, but then again, so did I. I had spent the past four years of my life staring at my self naked after a shower willing the stupid things to grow. I had always been disproportioned; I was too big where I should have been small and I was too small where I should have been big. Life could be cruel sometimes. But that summer, it all fell into place. After my tits had grown, my ass shrank, my hair suddenly had a healthy sheen to it and I suddenly shrank two inches around my waist line. When school finally started, I knew that it was destined to be different. Of course, I was right. Fiona had always told me that my first instinct was always the right instinct, but then again my mother was a bit on the odd side, lovable, but definitely a bit out there. For instance, she'd married the first man she'd met and then I was conceived and she dumped him, just like that. She had told me the truth when I was a kid, she didn't sugar coat it; she'd told me that my father was just a pawn to get me and that she hadn't really cared about him. Sure, my father was rich, but she didn't care about that, she hadn't asked him for a dime of support, she just wanted his semen. All of her life, Fiona had wanted a daughter to call her own, and what ever Fiona wanted, Fiona would get. She didn't want a man or money, she wanted me.

"Hell, if I had wanted money, I would have killed the bastard," Fiona would say as she tucked me in at night. She'd take a sip of her martini and offer me a drink "to help me get to sleep," but I always refused. "Your loss," she'd say as she downed it. Then she'd kiss me on the forehead with her alcohol soaked lips and tell me she loved me and that was that. I went to sleep and thought nothing of it. To me, that was normal. Fiona was an independent woman and made a very sizable income at _Witch Weekly_ answering letters of middle aged witches seeking advice. She was the magical equivalent of the muggle columnist Abby. Nobody had ever told me that having only one parent wasn't normal. It wasn't until I got to Hogwarts that I learned different. I admire and respect my mother, but I think she wanted a mini version of her, which I definitely wasn't. I was shy while she was extremely outgoing. She was beautiful, while I was plain. She hated men while I pined after them. In fact, the boy that I pined after since my third year at Hogwarts hadn't ever noticed me, and if I were Fiona, I'd have already had him wrapped around my pinky finger, doing every thing that I told him to do, having him worship me. But, I was not Fiona, which is why my drastic change in appearance would change everything. He would notice me; there wasn't a doubt in my mind about that. Oh yes, this year would defiantly be different; it couldn't possibly be any other way. I had made up my mind; it was my final year at Hogwarts and by the time I graduated I'd have Severus Snape bowing down on one knee, asking me to marry him. The only problem that I faced was how exactly I was going to get him to ask me out. That would be a challenge, and I decided to roar with bestial vigor at that challenge.

**SS **

Severus Snape sat in the Slytherin common room, listening to the other 7th year boys talk about their favorite subjects: girls and sex. This was their last year at Hogwarts and the ones who hadn't lost their virginity were determined to do so and the ones that had were determined to get lucky again with out prematurely ejaculating. None of it mattered to him however; it was something stupid to worry over. There would be plenty of time for girls and sex. All that really mattered to him was getting his education so he could get a good job and move out from under the rule of his father's household. He'd never speak to him again, and his father would look shocked when Severus told him exactly where he could shove his bible. (Up his ass, in case you were wondering). He had dreamed of the moment since the day he'd gotten his acceptance letter from Hogwarts and his father had called him an evil little shit and told him that witch craft would buy him a one way ticket to hell. If men like Tobias Snape went to heaven, then Severus would gladly spend an eternity in hell.

"Anyone get a good look at Carncross?" Avery was asking. Severus' thoughts were interrupted as some one laughed loudly. This annoyed him.

"Who's Carncross?" Mulciber asked with a stupid look on his face. Well, it was his normal expression, so it was hardly worth mentioning, but his question didn't go unanswered.

"Siobhan Carncross…Fiona Carncross…ring any bells?" Avery asked slowly as though he were asking a small boy if the priest had touched him inappropriately. Mulciber stared blankly at Avery, and Avery sighed, annoyed at his friend's ignorance. "You know…the lady who writes the _According to Fiona _column in _Witch Weekly_? Well, Siobhan is her daughter."

"She has a daughter? I thought she was a lesbian," some one asked. Severus didn't care enough to wonder who had said it. He knew who Fiona Carncross was as his mother read her column avidly, though in secret. His father didn't really allow "evil sorcery propaganda" in his house, and he especially loathed _Witch Weekly_ because the title seemed feminist and if Tobias hated anything more than magic, it was feminists. Severus, however, was shocked to find out that Siobhan was Fiona Carncross' daughter. They had been partnered up quite a bit in Transfiguration and he'd never really made the connection. He'd brushed it off as a coincidence because Siobhan seemed to be a far cry from Fiona Carncross.

"She could be, she's not married you know," Avery said, looking smug at being the information resource. Severus thought gossiping was stupid and best left to the women. "Anyway," Avery continued. "Little Miss Carncross got hot over the summer. She's pureblooded, there's not doubt about it, and she wouldn't have gotten into Slytherin if she wasn't." Severus grew hot around the collar. He didn't say anything; he was a half blood, and nobody knew it. Brining up the fact that Slytherins were supposed to be pureblooded made him a bit angry. There was more to being a Slytherin than just being pureblooded. Severus stood and faked a huge yawn.

"I hate to abandon you all like this," he said, trying to keep his voice sleepy, "But I'm tired. First day of classes start tomorrow, and I don't want to be completely sleep deprived so try and be quiet when you come in later?"

The boys bade him goodnight and he made his way to the dormitory. Little did he know that there was a brown haired young woman lurking in the shadows, watching the boys talk, well mainly watching Severus.

**SC**

My mother was not a lesbian. Well, not completely anyway. Fiona had had several boyfriends to keep her satisfied and she's only had one girlfriend as far as I knew, but that didn't last long. They never do, male or female. But that's beside the point. They were talking about me, Siobhan Carncross. They had actually noticed me. If I had heard correctly, Avery had called me "hot." That gave me a little hope, but I had been watching Severus and he hadn't said a word. Of course not, he was much too smart to be bothered by such a petty thing. Perhaps he was gay. I seriously hoped not because I certainly didn't want to date a pompous asshole like Avery and I'd rather die than go out with a complete retard like Mulciber. Mulciber was creepy anyway. He'd almost cursed a Gryffindor girl back into the Middle Ages a few years back and not only that but he also looked like a rapist. Not just a one time offender, but a serial rapist. Some of the other boys were alright, but I preferred Severus.

I had developed a crush on Severus back in third year, when we had been partnered up in potions. My normal partner, Lupin, a Gryffindor, was out sick for a couple of days and Severus worked by him self most of the time due to the fact that he had an unusual aptitude for potions. He was nice to me, I suppose that's what it was because most boys either ignored me or mistook me for an androgynous boy. You can imagine what that did to myself esteem, but Severus seemed to notice that I was a girl because he hardly looked at me when he talked to me. Most guys that age were starting to notice girls and hardly knew how to talk to them. It gave me hope that perhaps I could snag a boy, and the boy I wanted to snag was Severus, so I took to stalking him. Not very ladylike and I will admit kind of creepy, but hey, I was in love. It wasn't like I followed him into the bathroom and watched him urinate, though if I thought I could get away with it, I probably would have. I sat behind him in transfiguration and so that I could get partnered up with him, and that worked at least once a week, provided one of those heathens he hung around with didn't beat me to the chase. Everyone in our year wanted to be partnered up with him because he was smart. All except me, I had different reasons.

After Severus left the common room, I had no reason to be there any longer I didn't care to hear the vulgar things that they were going to say about my hot new rack. I quietly made sure that Severus was out of sight before I made my own way into my own dormitory. I quietly climbed into my four poster canopy and listened as the other girls breathed heavily with sleep. I drifted off with thoughts of Severus and of course, my tits. They had changed my life.

* * *

**Anyway, leave me some feedback. I decided to do something different for a little while and I wrote this just for fun and for a change of pace. It won't be terribly long, anywhere from ten to twenty chapters. It's just a short humor fiction on first loves. I'll post more after I see what kind of response it's going to get, so don't be afraid to tell me what you think of it. **


	2. Nina the Super Slytherin

**SC**

I hurried down to breakfast, hoping that the food hadn't been put away yet. I could have just headed straight to class and waited for lunch, but I had learned that I couldn't function with out eating breakfast. I was in luck, the food was still sitting there, and I was even further in luck because who happened to be the only one sitting at the Slytherin table but Severus Snape. My heart gave a jolt and my stomach began to flutter. I wasn't hungry any more and I contemplated just running off but before I could he said, "Hey, Siobhan."

I turned slowly and gave a meek smile and sat down across from him. A plate appeared in front of me and Severus pushed a platter full of bacon and eggs towards me. I wasn't hungry and I felt like I was about to be sick all over the place but I didn't want to seem rude so I grabbed some slices bacon and set them on my plate, with no intention of eating them. Severus sat his book down and raised an eyebrow at me. I looked down at my plate and realized that no normal person could tolerate that amount of sodium for you see; I had piled about twelve slices of bacon on my plate. I tried not to blush as I scooped all but half a piece back on to the platter. I cleared my throat and willed myself not to cry out of embarrassment.

"So," I started, trying to instigate a conversation that would end with us making out. "Why aren't you in class?" Okay, so it wasn't exactly enough to make him leap across the table and engulf me in a sloppy French kiss, but it was a start.

"Free period, I dropped muggle studies and it was scheduled first period this quarter," he explained lazily. I tried to seem interested but not too interested but by the look on his face I'd managed to look like a sea sick sailor. "Are you alright?"

"Me?" I asked and looked around. _Of course me, you dolt, there isn't anyone else in the Great Hall_. "Oh, right. I'm fine, just a bit flustered. I'm ten minutes late to erm…" I looked down at my time table and realized that I had been scheduled for a free period too. I remembered I had been taking Muggle Studies as well because Severus was and that I had dropped it because I had heard Severus telling some one last June that he'd decided to drop it. "Absolutely nothing." Well, that was real charismatic. At least that was one less thing I had to worry about.

There was an awkward silence between us; I felt like an idiot. I was the type of person to just run away, but now I was stuck. I willed my self to stay, but yet I could think of nothing to say. I was grateful when he found a subject worth talking about. Awkward was my life; I didn't know how I was going to get through this, but then again, I don't know how I ever got out of anything. It always just sort of happened.

"How's your mum doing?" He asked me, and I couldn't help but notice that he was blushing, and that made me blush which made him blush even more and that just started a never ending circle. God why was I so awkward? I felt like hitting myself over and over again.

"She's doing alright I guess. She's just…Fiona," I replied, trying to regain my composure.

"You call your mum Fiona?" He asked. I blushed once again, realizing how weird that must be. Every normal kid called their parents Mum and Dad and I called my parent (the only one that I had) Fiona. Oh curse the fates for making me so abnormal!

"Well, she likes for me to call her Fiona. I used to get in trouble for calling her 'Mummy,' she said it makes her feel old."

"She sounds…interesting. My mother loves reading her articles. You know, I didn't even know that Fiona was your mother until Avery mentioned it last night."

"Oh well, yeah, I prefer to kind of keep it quiet. People tend to try and get into your dirty laundry when they find out that you're related to some one famous," I said, trying to sound nonchalant and humble. Severus nodded as if I had just said something really wise. And then there was silence. Neither of us knew what to say after that. I thought about inviting him back to my dormitory for a nice long make out session but that might make me seem a bit presumptuous. I'll admit it, I was a bit impatient, and it was hard for me to just sit there and stare at him. I wanted him to ask me out. I was getting a little bit angry so I shoved my half piece of bacon into my mouth and chewed it, hoping it would prevent me from saying anything stupid. Severus didn't like stupid girls, I knew that much. I had heard him saying that to Yaxley a couple of years ago.

"So, uh, if you're finished eating, you want to, uh, take a walk with me, maybe?" He asked, a bit uncomfortably. I froze, I wasn't expecting that at all, and I knew if I didn't think things over I'd blow my chances for ever. He looked a bit embarrassed, and I thought it was sort of sweet, but I couldn't take the chance of saying something dim-witted. I was frightened; I'll admit it, because no guy had ever paid attention to me or asked me to do anything with them ever, even if it was just taking a walk. I willed myself to say "YES!" but it wouldn't come.

"I...erm…I've just remembered I've got some homework that I haven't finished yet from over the summer, and I've got to finish it." I stood up, trying not to cry. I was so stupid, he was paying attention to me and all I could do was reject him! Stupid, stupid Siobhan!

"I could help you, and you could get it done a lot faster," he offered, looking hopeful. I could have killed myself for being so effing humble. There was no homework; I'd finished it all during the second week of vacation, so why was I lying?

"I wouldn't want to impose and it's not that much, I think I'll be able to manage it." I turned and walked off.

"Alright then, I'll see you around, Siobhan," he called after me. I felt a tear form in the corner of my eye and I wiped it away. Tears would have to wait until I had privacy.

**SS **

Severus stared after Siobhan, wondering why she had rejected him like that. Siobhan's mother was rumored to be a gold digger, so what made Siobhan different? She'd want a handsome, wealthy boy, and Severus was anything but that. Avery had been right, however, Siobhan had done that weird change thing that a lot of girls did during the summer, and Severus couldn't help but notice it. And now, he just felt rejected. He had meant to just…ask her out like that. It had just sort of slipped out and he couldn't just unsay it. He felt like an asshole. He gathered up his books and placed them in his book bag. He stood and ambled his way towards the Slytherin quarters so that he could put the books he didn't need for the day away. Perhaps that is where Siobhan went, but at that point he didn't think he could face her and not feel like a complete jerk.

**SC **

"I fucked everything up!" I wailed into my pillow. Nina Baldwin, my best friend, was patting my back, soothing me. Nothing she could say would cheer me up. It was lucky that she had decided to cut class due to the fact that she had started her period the day before and didn't feel like facing the world much. Nina was weird like that, if she didn't feel like doing something, she didn't. Some would call that lazy and I guess it is to an extent, but for the most part Nina was an exceptional student and could probably afford to miss some school, whereas, I had to work hard to make my mediocre grades.

"Siobhan," Nina sighed. "There's still a chance, you just need to come up with a better strategy so you don't blow it all and fuck it up completely the next time. You're in Slytherin; use that cunning mind of yours. Besides, if you had accepted that could have made you look desperate and easy. Snape would have thought that you were easy to take advantage of and that's the last thing you ever want a man to think."

I sat up and wiped at my eyes. Nina had a point. But I was still at a loss.

"You sound like Fiona," I said with a sniffle. Nina beamed; she idolized my mother for some reason which could have explained why she'd put up with me for six years. I highly doubt that if Fiona hadn't been my mother that Nina or any of the other Slytherin girls in my year would have paid much attention to me. They couldn't see my interest in Severus as normal and often teased me about it, but this year, Nina had been slightly more understanding.

"Well, it's true. Men think we're here to have the babies, cook the meals and all that other Elf work and its bullshit. The secret to being in a happy relationship is to have complete control, but you want to let him think that he has control, that way you're both happy. Personally, I don't understand what you could possibly see in Snape, he's ugly and poor and…."

"Nina," I cut in warningly. I didn't want to listen to her insult my man. I was supposed to stick up for him. Nina raised an eyebrow at me, but she got the message.

"But you're my friend, and if Snape is who you want then I suppose I have no choice but to help you out. I at least hope that his brains will get him a decent career so he can afford to buy you nice things," Nina said, smartly. Nina was most certainly a Slytherin.

"I don't want to even think about getting married right now, Nina. I just want to live in the present," I said. Nina was an aspirer, she always thought of the outcome of certain situations before acting upon them. It drove me nuts especially since I had inherited my mother's impulse drive. Nina was levelheaded while I just did things and didn't even think about the consequences until I was sitting in detention thinking to myself, "Well why in the hell did I go and do something stupid like that?"

"The present quickly becomes the past and then we're thrust into the future, Siobhan. You'll never get anywhere unless you start thinking about what you're going to do in advance."

"What if the future doesn't happen?" I inquired, trying to rile her up. She was annoying me.

"Well it doesn't hurt to be prepared now does it?"

Damn her and her logic. She had a point though. At least she was offering to help me, I was grateful for that much even though she could be extremely annoying. Nina was pretty, she had the beautiful blond hair that seemed to never need a brush taken to it, she had the face that didn't need make up, hell she had the brains so she didn't ever need to study. So, yeah, I was a bit jealous of her, but only because she could have any boy she wanted to have and she could make them do what she wanted them to do. I wish I had that effect on men. The sad part was that I think she learned it all from Fiona's articles. I never listened to Fiona and now that I had ruined my first chance with Severus I wish I had listened to her.

So the two of us spent the next hour or so coming up with a plan to snag Severus for me, even though I missed two classes, it was worth it. With Nina's level head and my determination, our strategy was pretty much infallible.

* * *

**I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed thus this far. It was really encouraging, and I live you all to bits. Now while I don't hold out for reviews (I don't find that ethical, I write because I find it relaxing, but the knowledge that I have readers is an added bonus or else I wouldn't publish it) I do want to ask everyone who reads to review. I'm not demanding it, but I do like feedback (Bad or good, I lap it up either way) because then I know what you like, and I know what to improve on. **

**This story is one that I'm doing for fun, so like I mentioned before, it won't be extremely long and I probably will not update once a day or anything, but you can count on me finishing it and it being all done in a few weeks, perhaps. It goes pretty fast. I got the idea to write in first and third person from a book I read called _Big Mouth and Ugly Girl _by Joyce Carol Oates. Good book, I recommend it.   
**

**Oh and one more thing: Nina Baldwin, my main character's best friend, will probably seem slightly Mary Sueish in the up coming chapters, I do not intend for her to be completely that way, nor do I want her to be overly annoying but please keep in mind that this story is being told from the point of view from two completely different people. Nina is a Slytherin, and likes to think she's perfect. She comes from an extremely rich family, and is a tid bit spoiled, but she is very smart and self assured and I thought that would be a wonderful contrast to Siobhan who also comes from a rich family (mother) but she's just a normal kid and is a bit neurotic and tends that she's completely abnormal when in reality she's fine. Nina and Siobhan (pronounced SHiv-ahn) are like yin and yang, complete opposites that balance each other out. Anyway, nuff spalinin' I are tired. (goes to sleep while typing thi...zzzz)   
**


	3. The Date from Hell or Heaven

**SC**

The weeks had passed by quickly and before I knew what had happened, Halloween was looming around the corner, and since Halloween happened to fall on a Saturday the first Hogsmeade trip of the year had also been scheduled on that day.

Nina's plan did not involve me trying to get Severus to ask me out to Hogsmeade. In fact, it was the complete opposite. I had to act as disinterested in him as I possibly could. It was hard, especially since I had starting spending a lot of time with Nina who spent as much time as she possibly could with Avery, the guy she was determined to marry, and Avery spent a lot of time with Severus. That also meant I had to endure Mulciber oogling me which was kind of disgusting. The week before the first Hogsmeade trip, our plan had finally started to work.

Here's how it went: Avery asked me to Hogsmeade and I accepted (phase 1). Severus, who had been egged on by Avery himself no doubt, asked Nina out and she accepted (phase 2.) The only thing that went unplanned was Mulciber asking me out more than once and when I turned him down enough times he finally gave up and asked Nina who also rejected him. Needless to say, he wasn't very happy but he took the hint.

Our plan was fully operational and the added bonus was that Nina would gain Avery's attention as well once he realized that I wasn't really all that interested in him. Nina and I at that point in time were considered the only dateable girls in our year and no one liked to date younger or uglier. Scarlet Ringer was alright and would do, but she had nothing going for her except the fact that she'd been known for putting out at least once. Nina was right; if you held out guys would learn to respect you but if you were a total whore (lets say Dandra Goode) it was less likely that a guy would want to marry you. A cheap fuck wasn't considered marriage material because there was that off chance that you'd cheat on your husband and would conceive a bastard child. That was not good considering the fact that most Slytherin boys were aspiring politicians and a scandal under the belt could do more harm than good.

The morning of Saturday, October 31st, Nina and I woke up three hours earlier than we normally did on Saturdays. All of the other girls groaned grumpily, but none of them had a date for Hogsmeade. Nina and I needed to look our best. I had written Fiona asking her to send me a new outfit that she thought would accent my positive attributes, which she did with a letter explaining the mechanics of sex to me. It was painfully embarrassing but I took her words seriously. Fiona was very perceptive, especially when it came to me, and she wasn't discouraging me or anything, in fact she was doing the exact opposite of what any normal mother would do: she was encouraging me to go out and have sex. I wasn't planning on doing that, not yet anyway, but I was grateful for the advice for I don't think I'd be able to give a decent blow job if the chance ever presented itself, but Fiona had also explained that as well.

"The way to a man's heart is through his dick," she'd written. Nina had laughed hysterically at that and had read it out loud to any one who would listen. The Slytherin boys had absolutely loved that one and I'd been getting date requests for my mother. It was slightly annoying but at least I was the center of attention.

The new outfit she'd sent me consisted of a pleated black skirt (a bit too short), a button up red and black blouse (that only buttoned up to my cleavage) and of course, a push up bra "to accentuate my lovely rack". She had also sent a necklace with a small but shiny diamond pendant to draw attention to my cleavage. Nina squawked with joy when I finally put it on though I felt slightly whorish in it.

"Oh don't be such a prude, it looks fine. Sexy but conservative," she said as she started applying a curling charm to my straight brownish blondish hair. I guess I felt better after seeing what she was planning on wearing. Her outfit was completely slutty, but that was the effect she was going for. She knew enough about Severus to know that he wasn't into the slutty type and she knew enough about Avery to know that he the complete opposite of Severus.

Her outfit left little to the imagination. She'd hemmed up one of her pleated, wool grey school skirts so that it showed off her ass cheeks and had taken an old t-shirt and ripped the sleeves and sides up and wove a piece of ribbon through the incisions, poorly mending the sides up.

After she was done with my hair, she started on my make up. She applied a few minor glamour charms to my face and declared me done. She held up a handheld mirror and I gasped when I saw myself. The person in the mirror wasn't me; in fact she was almost pretty. Nina had certainly had spent a lot more time on me than she did herself. Her hair was thrown up into a messy pony tail and her garish red lipstick was slightly smudged. I pointed that out to her and she shrugged.

"I did it that way on purpose, so it looks like that I've been sucking some dick. Severus wouldn't want to kiss a girl if he thought that she'd been blowing another guy ten minutes prior. Now stop being such a narcissist and give me back my mirror. I need to check my mascara."

I handed her back the mirror and she inspected herself for a full ten seconds and set the mirror down on the small desk that held all of her beauty accessories.

"Perfect," she beamed. After a final check over, we were finally ready to meet the boys down stairs, where they waited to escort us to Hogsmeade. Avery let out a low whistle when he saw me, but he was practically drooling over Nina who giggled at everything he said on the walk to Hogsmeade. Severus looked rather embarrassed to be seen with such a skanky looking girl and stayed back a few steps. I couldn't help but notice him staring at me a bit. If I caught him looking, he'd turn away and blush. That was definitely a good sign. Every time he did this, Nina would latch on to his arm and turn to me, and give me a knowing wink. She was trying to scare him, and it was working.

Our day was rather uneventful. I'd managed to talk Avery into buying me loads of chocolate from Honeydukes that I would give to Nina secretly later on because Severus could not afford to buy her anything. I owed her that much for helping me out. I didn't care for chocolate, though Nina couldn't live with out it, especially when she had PMS. We browsed around every one of the shops in town to kill time but bought nothing, and we stopped at a small fetish shop that was pretty much off limits to students, but the owner of the shop didn't seem to care just as long as we bought something. Avery bought me a pair of furry underwear as a joke, though it was completely appalling. Avery laughed at my reaction and took to wearing the pair of panties on his head, getting guffaws from Nina and an eye roll from Severus.

We ended our trip in the Hogs Head, where the barkeeper didn't care who he sold alcohol to. After consuming many shots of Fire whisky, Nina and Avery had found a small secluded corner and were groping each other furiously. I tried not to watch as Avery slipped a hand up Nina's shirt as he kissed her. I turned away, trying not to look too enthusiastic at being alone with Severus. He was staring at his half finished bottle of Butter Beer, looking absolutely horrified by our friends' behavior. I hoped he hadn't really liked Nina. That would ruin everything, so I decided to question him a bit.

"Some double date this has turned out to be, eh?" I asked and tapped my fingers on the dusty table top. I made a mental note to scrub my fingers at least ten times once I got back to Hogwarts.

"A surprising turn but not entirely shocking," he said, making me smile. The two butter beers and one shot of Fire whiskey had made me extremely serene and I wasn't quite so nervous. I was completely comfortable in fact. It was a good thing that I wasn't a complete lush like Nina was pretending to be.

"Ah, well, at least we weren't in a serious relationship, I might be heart broken," I said with a meek smile. A smile formed slightly on his lips. Severus had actually smiled, though it was for a nanosecond, but it was undeniably a smile.

"I hadn't really wanted to ask her out, you know. I didn't think she was my type and I can see I was right," he said, throwing his head, gesturing towards the couple who were now starting to undress themselves. "Avery told me to, so I did. I figured something like this might happen. He's been into Nina for a while now. He only wanted to ask you out to make her jealous."

"Oh, that really makes me feel better about myself," I said sarcastically. I was a bit stung but the feeling passed when I realized that Nina and I had done the exact same thing to him. I was also relieved that he wasn't really into Nina.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that," he said apologetically. "But if it helps any, there are dozens of guys who want to ask you out. Mulciber was furious when he found out that Avery had beaten him to the chase."

"Mulciber asked me out before Avery did and I turned him down several times, so he has no room to be crying," I said. "The guy is a creep, and you can tell him I think so if it will make him leave me alone."

Severus looked relieved and even smiled for another nanosecond but caught himself in the act.

"Who else wants to ask me out?" I inquired, genuinely curious. Severus was spilling all and I was soaking it all up. It did a lot for a girl when she knew how much she was admired. It made me feel good about myself. Nothing gives you an ego boost like knowing that all the boys wanted nothing more than to bed you.

"Well, practically every normal Slytherin boy, for one," he said, thoughtfully.

"Does that include you?"

My question had the effect that I had wanted. He turned bright red (though it was a bit hard to tell in the dingy dark little tavern) and averted his gaze back to his bottle of Butter Beer. He seemed to be mulling over his answer, he seemed like he wanted to say something but stopped himself. Finally he replied with, "If I said yes, would you flip out and storm off like you did at breakfast last month?"

"Of course I wouldn't, you just threw me off guard that's all."

He took in a deep breath; this was the moment I had been waiting for. My heart skipped a beat and the butterflies fluttered to life in my stomach. I grew lightheaded, I was scared for a second, but I willed my self silently to calm down. If I could get past the scared stage, I'd be alright, but the situation was nerve wracking. What if he said no? Did I really want to know the answer? Maybe I should run off now, but avoidance would only complicate things more than they already were. Even if I had wanted to run off my legs had turned to jelly and wouldn't allow me the opportunity.

"Then yes, I want to ask you out," he mumbled. I took in a deep breath. I had survived, I wasn't dead and the situation wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was okay. I didn't have to run.

"Ask me properly then," I said after a few moments of silence. Severus froze but didn't say anything. I was feeling brave and confident until Nina moaned loudly from the corner. That kind of shattered the moment. I vowed to steal half of the chocolate that I was planning on giving her for unknowingly ruining the atmosphere. That'd teach her to be a mood killer. "Listen, Severus, you don't have to, I don't want to pressure you into doing something that you don't feel comfortable doing." I bit my lip and watched him for a second. He didn't look up at me because it seemed he was too busy trying to ignore Nina's giggling and moaning. I looked over Severus' head and was disgusted to find that Avery had his hand up Nina's skirt. Nina really could be a dirty skank when she wanted to be. I doubted she'd let him get any further than a few cheap feels though.

"Let's get out of here, Siobhan. Those two are making a spectacle of themselves." He stood and turned to Avery. "You're picking up the tab; we're leaving if that's alright with you."

Nina had Avery's mouth occupied with her finger so he couldn't issue a verbal response so he gave the thumbs up sign and turned his attention back to Nina who was grinding her crotch into his own.

We left the dusty bar and made our way back to Hogwarts. I looked at my watch and realized that it was almost ten o' clock, curfew. The village was deserted, save for a few Gryffindors who always broke curfew. The punishment wasn't too severe so I wasn't worried about being a little late back. All that mattered right then was that Severus and I were completely alone. I savored the silence; things were just too awkward to really say anything.

The walk seemed to last an eternity and I was feeling a bit down because I didn't think that Nina's plan had worked for me. I was glad, and a bit jealous, that at least Nina had gotten her way. I was ready to give up, but knowing Nina, she'd have another trick up her sleeve. And looking on the positive side of things, Severus had admitted that he did like me, and even if he was too shy to actually ask me out, it was a step in the right direction. I couldn't really expect these things to happen over one lousy date could I? Nina had accomplished something that night and that was a giant step. Since she'd made it in with Avery, she could get Avery to encourage Severus to ask me out. That wasn't completely flawless, though, because Avery had talked Severus into asking Nina out and that had turned out to be a complete disaster, like we'd planned on it being.

When we finally reached Hogwarts, we found the gate open and virtually unguarded so we quickly and quietly made our way down to the dungeons and to the Slytherin quarters. I was about to enter the common room when Severus pulled me back. I was taken completely aback, but I was pleased none the less.

"Listen, Siobhan, I need to ask you something and I'd prefer to do it in private and out of earshot, so hear me out for a second." I nodded my head and he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I really like you."

"That wasn't a question, but thanks," I replied, almost shivering in anticipation. "I really like you too." His face lit up and he opened his eyes and stared deeply into mine.

"So, here it goes: how would you feel if I asked you to go steady with me?"

"Like boyfriend and girlfriend steady or what?" So I was stalling a bit, I'll admit it. I was used to running away from situations like this, but Nina had taught me over the past few weeks that I needed to remain strong or else I'd spend the rest of my life running away from everything and that was no way to live. Here he was, asking me to go steady with him and it was taking all my energy to not run away. "I don't know, Severus, I hardly know you, and don't you think that'd be a bit…fast?"

"So that's a no?" his face fell. I grimaced. I wanted to say yes, but Nina told me I should play hard to get a little bit.

"I'm not ruling it out, but I don't just want to rush into anything, you know?"

"I understand," he said, dejectedly. He started to push the heavy door that lead from the entry way into the common room open, but I stopped him by grabbing his hand.

"Severus, do you know how long I've waited for this moment? I've fancied you since third year. You're smart; you know what my answer is." It was subtle but to the point, just like Nina had instructed. He stopped for a second and studied my face, looking confused. "Yes, you dolt, I'd love to go steady with you."

He gave me a crooked smile and gave my hand a squeeze.

"I'll see you at breakfast?" he asked, hopefully.

"Sure, provided Nina isn't moaning in bed with a hangover."

"Tomorrow is Sunday you know, there aren't any classes."

"Does that mean we'll be spending the day together?" I asked, teasing him. He reached forward and gave me a peck on the lips. When I didn't pull away, he kissed me again, this time with more confidence. I was in heaven.

"You're smart; you know what my answer is," and with that Severus pushed the door open and entered the common room ahead of me. I stood there for a second and felt my lips, completely shocked. All the feeling started returning to my body when I realized that it wasn't a dream. I quickly followed him in and headed straight for the dorm and waited for Nina to come back.

Nina came in an hour later, luckily for her, I wasn't asleep. She plopped down in my bed, a little bit too drunk to find her own. She engulfed me in a large hug and prodded me in the side.

"Are you awake?" she asked.

"Yes, what time is it?"

"Eleven thirty. How did it go with Severus?"

"It went alright," I smiled in the darkness and she gave an impatient grunt.

"You know what I mean, tell me every little detail," she said.

"Well while you and Avery were busy exploring each other's anatomy, Severus grew impatient and decided that we should leave so that he could ask me out in a more comfortable environment," I said, reliving every single moment. Nina squealed.

"And did he?"

"Well, I didn't think he was going to, but when we got back to the common room he finally plucked up the courage."

"And you said yes?" Nina asked, a bit sternly. She knew how I was.

"Well, yes! How could I say anything but?"

"Oh Siobhan! I'm so happy for you!" She gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek, leaving the distinct scent of fire whiskey and salvia that wasn't her own. It sort of reminded me of Fiona when she would come home after a party and would pass out next to me. "I'd always thought that Severus might be gay, but there you go!"

We didn't say anything more. She soon passed out, leaving me alone with my thoughts and pretty soon I fell asleep, replaying the day's events over in my head.

**SS**

Severus stared at the fire, completely awestruck. He didn't think she would say yes, but she had. He wasn't even going to ask her, she had sort of tricked him into doing it. He wondered if that had been her plan all along. Sure he liked her, sure he thought she was pretty, sure her presence on his arm would do a lot for his reputation, but he was feeling slightly regretful for some reason. Perhaps she was right; perhaps they were rushing into things. After all, if things did play out right, he could end up marrying her. He didn't want her to find out about his unfortunate heritage and suddenly decide she didn't like him. Not many Slytherin girls wanted to marry a half blood. Most Slytherin girls were shallow and haughty, but Siobhan seemed different from all of them. She said she liked him since third year, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He could have ended up with some one who didn't really like him, like Nina Baldwin. Nina wasn't so bad except she known for being extremely vindictive. Avery was a perfect match for her.

Avery waltzed in a few minutes later, swaying a bit and plopped down in the chair next to Severus. He didn't say anything for a while; he rather warmed his ungloved hands against the fire.

"Cold night?" Severus asked, giving Avery a scornful glare. Avery ignored him and gave him a stupid grin.

"No not really if you consider what happened with Baldwin. I hope Carncross isn't too sore at me," Avery said as he slid back in a more casual position, looking smug with himself.

"No, she's not, but you're lucky she's the type to forgive and forget." Severus said, still glaring at Avery. Avery shrugged his shoulders, his wide grin still plastered to his face as though he had ingested a large amount of pot brownies. Severus wasn't exactly pleased with his so called best mate at the moment seeming Avery had completely abandoned him to screw around with Nina.

"Baldwin is something else, I'll tell you that much. You're missing out, Snape. I hope you picked up my slack with Carncross. You're my right hand man, and that's what we were planning on doing to begin with and I'd be sorely disappointed if you didn't do your job. I may have to get Mulciber to do it next time," Avery teased. Severus wasn't amused. He didn't like the way his friends treated women. He had watched his mother get pushed around by his father for so long he vowed that he'd never treat a woman like an object.

"I didn't pick up your slack, as you called it," Snape replied icily. "I made a move on her because I had wanted to, not because I felt obligated because you completely abandoned her for her best friend, even though she was your date. You're a real prick sometimes, you know that?"

"I try. So how did she take it? You seem to be in a foul mood, so not well I presume?"

"Oh she took it well enough. In fact, we have plans to spend the day together tomorrow."

Avery seemed genuinely surprised at this news, which caused Severus to roll his eyes. Did Avery really think that Severus could not make it with a girl?

"Wow, you did real well for your first, mate. How long do think it will be before you're able to bed her?"

"That's completely disgusting and chauvinistic," Severus said, and Avery raised an eye brow at him.

"What are you, gay? What guy doesn't want a spot of meat to go with his potatoes?" Avery said with a hearty wink.

"You're comparing women to food?"

"No, I'm just saying you can't be in a relationship and not expect to get some in return for your unconditional love. That's what being in a relationship is about. You love your lady and she gives you some nookie to ensure that you will still love her. If she starts to deprive you, fuck her, she isn't worth your time."

Severus didn't say anything; he just scowled at his friend. Avery sighed at Severus' ignorance. Avery had lots of experience under his belt (quite literally) with women, and therefore every one seemed to look up to him for advice. Severus thought it was rather stupid considering Avery hadn't been in a relationship that lasted for more than a couple of months. Severus knew enough about Nina to know that she wouldn't put up with Avery's usual bullshit and Severus pitied Avery if he even tried to do that to her. Avery might lose his testicles.

"You want to have sex don't you?" Avery asked him. Severus thought for a second.

"Well, yes, but I want it to be special."

"Oh fuck all of that bullshit. Sex isn't special, it's a dirty perverted process, and your first time won't be life changing. If you're lucky it will be disastrous at best. After you've had five other women you won't even remember who you lost your v-card with."

Severus had always listened to Avery some what, but at that moment he thought it would be best to ignore his friend's advice and listen to what his heart told him. Siobhan didn't deserve that kind of treatment; it was his first girlfriend after all. He'd want to savor the experience even if nothing came out of it but a learning experience.

* * *

**Was bored so I decided to post another chapter. Enjoy.  
**


	4. Estrowhat?

**.SC.**

Severus and I spent all of our available time together. It was lucky that Severus and I had three periods a week and we utilized that time to study for mid term exams as Christmas was approaching. So, maybe we were taking things a bit slower than normal couples did, (Nina and Avery were making out on a regular basis when they weren't fighting) but this was Severus' and my first real relationship and neither of us really wanted to screw it up. I had started to get frustrated around mid-November because Severus hadn't dared to kiss me yet. Well, he had, but it was more like a peck on the cheek or on the lips but nothing very…passionate. I had tried on multiple occasions to get him to stick his tongue in my mouth, but he always hesitated and when he hesitated I lost my nerve. I had sought Nina's advice one night after telling Severus good night and retreating to the dormitory. Nina and I shared the same bed sometimes as our beds were at opposite ends of the room. She and I liked to stay up all night whispering and giggling and it annoyed some of the other girls.

"He won't kiss me, Nina. I don't know what to do," I said as I closed my canopy curtains and lit my wand. Nina's soft features were illuminated in the dark, making her seem eerily beautiful. She was sitting Indian style in her silk red pajamas, fiddling with one of the buttons on her top.

"Well I don't know what to tell you. Every guy that I've dated has always been eager to move things along," she said, shrugging.

"You're not being very helpful," I said, feeling a bit desperate. I wanted him to kiss me but at the same time I was scared. "I'm not even sure I know how."

"It's not rocket science. The mechanics are easy enough," Nina said offhandedly.

"Show me how?" I asked hopefully. Nina gave me a weird look and I blushed. "I meant, could you tell me how."

"I can't just tell you how to do it. It's some thing you have to learn from actually going out and doing it."

"At the rate he's going I never will," I said, close to tears. I was at a loss. I buried my head in my knees. Nina scooted towards me and lifted my chin in her hands. She stared deeply into my eyes and moved closer to my face…soon all I could see was her nose and the next thing I knew her lips were on mine. I was shocked, and I started to pull away, but her hand reached around my neck and clasped its self to the back of my head, forcing me to stay put as the kiss intensified. I relaxed a bit, and started to enjoy my self. I even opened my mouth a little and as soon as I did her tongue darted in my mouth, and the next thing I knew, I was enjoying the sensation of our tongues uniting, swirling together in mutual bliss. As soon as I was really starting to enjoy myself (more than I should have been), she pulled away. I was left in shock and I was more than a little breathless.

"See, simple, wasn't it?" She said as she adjusted her top. I stared at her for a second, fully realizing how exactly pretty she was. I felt like a total lesbian right then, but she seemed nonplussed about it. "Just don't tell Avery I did that, he'll be demanding to watch us."

"I won't," I whispered. I slept soundly that night, grateful I had Nina for a friend. She was guide and I was confident that by the end of the week, Severus will have kissed me.

The kiss came the very next weekend. Severus and I were sitting in the common room playing a game of Wizards' Chess on a board that he had borrowed from one of the richer families. I had never learned to play Chess and since Severus and I were caught up on homework, he was taking the time to teach me.

"I need a worthy adversary. None of these dolts are a challenge," he said with a slight smirk as Mulciber tossed a handful of Bertie Bott's Beans at him. A few landed on the board and I picked up a bright pink one and stuck it in my mouth.

"Thanks for that, Mulciber, rose just happens to be my favorite flavor," I said, spitting it out and chucking it back at him. It landed on his trouser pant leg and he picked it up and popped it into his mouth.

"Mmm…Carncross germs…" He said, causing several people to groan in disgust. Mulciber was still more than a little bit obsessed with me and hadn't taken too kindly to the news that Severus had taken me off the market. I didn't care; I paid as little attention to him as I possibly could.

After I had succeeding in almost beating Severus, we retired as the owner of the chess board demanded that we hand it back over. We sat on the dragon hide couch, waiting for the common room to clear out so we could be openly affectionate towards each other. It was nearly midnight before the last person (a fourth year) finally gave up on his homework and retreated to his bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

We remained quiet for a few moments. Sometimes it got awkward because we wouldn't know what to do. I finally scooted closer to him and curled up next to him so that my head was in his lap.

"Why won't you really kiss me?" I finally decided to ask. He didn't answer me. So I pulled the eye trick that Nina had taught me.

For those of you who aren't sure of what the eye trick is, let me explain it to you. When you're a little kid, and there's something that you really want and your parents refuse, you look up at them and pull the most pitiful face you can manage. You have to really believe that you will die if you don't get your way or else they won't believe it themselves. I hardly ever had to do this with Fiona because anything I asked for she gave it to me which was why Nina had to teach me. Nina told me that in order for this to work, you had to be below the person which is why it worked well on adults if you were a small child but didn't work on children your own age. Nina told me this trick was especially effective on guys because they were too stupid to realize what you were doing. Guys would give you anything if you gave them a little action.

He wouldn't look at me, so the eye trick wasn't working. I sat up a little bit and intentionally dug my elbows into his thigh. No reaction. Wow, he really was intent on avoiding the question.

"Please, talk to me, Sev."

He looked down and the look in his eye was murderous. It scared me a bit because I'd never seem him look so hostile before. I'd seen him look annoyed and perhaps angry maybe once or twice but now he looked positively homicidal.

"What did you just call me?" His whisper was deadly and it nearly brought me to tears, the scorn was that intense.

"I…don't…what?" I asked, too distracted by his hateful glare to have really heard the question. He stood up hastily, dumping me on the floor. I was completely shocked at his behavior. He was normally very gentle and this side of him made me want to wet my pants. In fact, I think I might have.

"Don't you EVER call me 'Sev' again!" He said, quietly but firmly. I was so shocked I couldn't say anything. His nostrils were flared and his usual pale tone had taken on a red tinge.

"Alright…I won't…" I said, now a little bit angry at his unexplained irrational behavior. I picked my self off the floor, trying to maintain as much of my dignity as I could. I wanted to slap him for being such a prick but Fiona told me if I ever had to hit a guy I should punch him. Slapping a guy doesn't hurt them much it only pisses them off more. You had to fight like a man to show them exactly what was what. I, however, resisted this urge as hard as it was. Severus seemed to come to his sense and he began to help me up. I threw his grip off my arm and stood up properly and turned to leave.

"Don't be like that, Siobhan. It was an accident," he said pleadingly. I refused to look at him, so he proceeded to grab me by the shoulder and forced me to face him. "If you want an effing kiss, then I'll give you an effing kiss!" He started to lean in closer to me but I shoved him with as much force as I could muster. I was shaking in anger at that point. I'd never been much for yelling and screaming and I'd managed to repress my anger for the most part, but I could not seem to do that this time.

"You think this is about a kiss? You just fucking dumped me on the floor, you prick!" I said and Severus' eyes widened in surprise. I hardly cursed around him. I'd always thought it was unladylike. "I didn't do anything to you and you turn on me like I just killed your dog and raped your mother! What in the fuck was that about?" Okay, so perhaps I was being a bit thin-skinned and all, but how else could I react? Fiona had taught me to stand up to men most of my life, though I'd never really gotten the chance, and well, I guess I really was a product of my environment. I wasn't about to stand there and let him push me around like I was some form of a rag doll.

"I'm sorry, okay? Jesus, you don't have to fucking batshit," he mumbled. I started to march off again. "Oi, don't you walk away from me!" I whirled around.

"Or you'll what?" I hissed through gritted teeth, challenging him. "You'll thrash me and put me in my place? I've got news for you, a real headliner, right there in nice bolded print," I tapped on the palm of my hand with my finger to enunciate my point. "I'm not a fucking plaything, you can't just expect me to sit there and take your bullshit when you're in a foul mood! I'm NOT that type of girl and if you want some one like that, go find some one else because you're wasting your time!" Fiona would have been proud of my speech. Hell, I was surprised that it managed to tumble from my lips so easily. The old me would've been sniveling at his feet, begging forgiveness though I'd done nothing wrong.

This time, when I turned to leave, he let me go. I stormed into the dormitory and screamed into my pillow, causing Nina to wake up to come and check on me. As soon as I had told her what happened, she quietly left and stayed gone. I don't know what she was planning on doing, and I didn't really care. I fell asleep not long after she left. All that anger had drained all of my energy.

**.SS.**

Severus angrily kicked at the hearth of the fireplace and immediately regretted it. Pain shot through his foot and he swore loudly. So, maybe he had overreacted just a little bit, but that was not an excuse for her to go off on him like that. It was that stupid nickname that she had used. There had only been one person who had ever called him that and gotten away with it and Siobhan wasn't that someone.

Severus sat down on the couch and tried not to think about Siobhan or their little spat. He rather thought of Avery and Nina who had fought quite often and almost always ended up making out. Severus didn't like leaving on an angry note, but what was he supposed to do? He didn't want to apologize, and even if he had, how could he? Siobhan was probably sitting in the dormitory telling all of those hens lies about him. The thought made his blood boil and it reached its pique when Nina came down stairs in her night gown, frowning at him. She sat down beside him.

"Siobhan told me everything," she said as she tucked her knees under her body. Severus gave her a glare, but didn't say anything. "Listen, I'm not taking sides here, you both were overreacting. Point is, you're the man in the relationship, and you've got to take some responsibility. After all, it was your behavior that sparked this whole mess."

Severus looked up at her. "What do you suggest I do then?"

"Give her what she wants and then some," Nina suggested with a wink. She stood up and started towards the dormitory, but then stopped and looked back as though she were expecting him to follow.

"Come on," she said, a bit impatiently as she flipped her blond hair over her shoulder.

"You want me to…right now?" He was a bit taken aback. Guys couldn't get into the girls' dormitory and this worried him a bit. He'd never tried it before and worried about the consequences.

"Yes, stupid. Now come on, we haven't got all night and I'm tired."

Severus stood and followed her down the long echoing hallway that housed all of the girls' dormitories. The seventh year dorm was located through the second door on the left, right beside the fifth year dormitory and on its right housed the Slytherin perfects lounge. Nina popped into the perfects lounge and came back out a few moments later holding a small glass phial that contained an opaque yellow potion. She handed it to Severus and he studied it, trying to figure out what potion it was.

"_Femalia_? The Estrogen Potion? You're joking right?" He said. Nina shook her head. "Look, if this isn't brewed right the effects could cause permanent damage. No offense, but I don't want to walk around with a pair of boobs for the rest of my life."

"Oh stop being such a whiney little infant. I brewed it myself, and how do you think Avery gets into the Dorm? He hasn't got tits. Now drink up."

"Couldn't I just apologize tomorrow?" Nina was very apt at potions but he still didn't trust her skills enough to drink the wretched potion.

"Look, I've only given you a small amount, it's just enough to enhance your estrogen levels so that you can get through the door with out it expelling you from the room. The only side effects that I've noticed in Avery is he gets a little over emotional now and again but he takes it at least once a week," Nina said, closing her eyes, impatient at his apprehension.

"Does Avery even know what he's taking?" Severus asked, a bit suspicious. Avery wasn't exactly the smartest peanut in the turd and it got him into trouble sometimes.

"No, but he's never asked, either. If it makes you feel any better, I've diluted it with frog's spawn and I used a little less Queens' Blood and added some Damiana and cinnamon."

Severus considered this for a second; Nina really was a genius when it came to potions, but did he really want to take the potion and take the chance that it could cause repercussions that would be unsightly? It all depended on the individual's body chemistry and what if his didn't mix well with that potion?

"Damiana? Cinnamon?" Severus inquired, now intrigued. He had experimented with a few potions himself, but Damiana was a highly unorthodox herb that was mainly used in love potions.

"Damiana creates euphoria, and cinnamon is a male aphrodisiac. I made this for Avery you know," she said, and shifted a bit uncomfortably on her feet. Severus chose to ignore that last part of her statement. "I've also added a bit of Kings' Blood so that your Testosterone level will stay the same, but when it's mixed with the Queens' Blood it stays repressed," she added with a smirk. "I could explain it for hours on end, so just take the damn potion already will you?"

Severus brought the phial to his lips, slapping himself mentally for letting the blond Slytherin talk him into doing this. Furthermore, he was doing this for Siobhan, so she'd better be damned grateful. He wasn't risking turning into a girl himself for nothing.

**.SC.**

I was woken up some time later by some one plopping into bed with me. At first I thought it was Nina, so I rolled over to allow her room. If I had been in a sober state of mind, I would have realized that Nina didn't shift so heavily and she certainly wouldn't throw her arm around me.

"What time is it?" I groaned. This was usually the first thing that came out of my mouth after waking up. It was an instinct. The person next to me shifted slightly.

"I'd say around one thirty or so," a masculine voice answered. I sat straight up and groped around on my night stand for my wand, but before I could grab it, Severus already had his out and had already lit it. He had sat up and was sitting Indian style across from me.

"How did you get in here?" I whispered sharply. I hoped nobody could hear me but then I remembered that most of the girls had cast silencing charms around their beds so Nina and I wouldn't wake them up if we had one of our late-night chat sessions.

"Nina," he said, simply. Of course, Nina, I thought bitterly. She had managed to sneak Avery in at least once a week which is another reason the other girls had cast those charms around their beds. I didn't know how she did it and I really didn't want to know either.

"I think you should leave," I said. I was still mad at him and I wasn't ready to forgive him quite yet. But then he gave me that look; the hurt, please forgive me look that Nina had no doubt briefed him on.

"Don't be like that Siobhan. I'm sorry, I really am. I'll make it up to you," he pleaded and grabbed my hands. I wanted to murder Nina right then. If I couldn't be mad at him, I had to be mad at some one else.

"Fine," I said, ready to negotiate. "I don't even want to know what caused that little outburst of yours, but I do want you to answer the question that you went out of your way to avoid."

"I've kissed you plenty of times before," he said.

"It's always been just a peck here and there but nothing really…romantic."

"Romantic? You want romance? Siobhan, that's not who I am and besides why do you want to go and rush things like that? We've been together for what, three weeks?" He was looking a bit flustered and uncomfortable. He kept shifting his weight and he moved back a bit every couple of seconds. I didn't want to rush things either, but a kiss was a kiss and that was it. I wanted my first kiss from a boy, and it didn't matter how long we'd been together. A kiss didn't necessarily mean that we had to move straight to sex.

"Nina and Avery have been together for that long and I think they've gone all the way already!" I said, defending myself.

"Have not!" Nina's voice rang from right beside the bed. Typical Nina; she was always poking around in other people's business. I ignored her.

"That's them, this is us. Siobhan, don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do because you think other people do it," Severus said, a rare moment of insight.

"He's right you know. I see that the Damiana is working," Nina said. I could see her shadow right out side of the curtain. I didn't know what she meant so I continued to ignore her.

"I know what I want, and it's not because I'm feeling pressured alright? I just don't see how a kiss is going to change a thing."

"It could. I've never kissed anyone before," he said, and suddenly I understood clearly. He was scared. I almost smiled; he was pitiful.

"You're going to have to take charge, Siobhan," Nina said. Severus and I looked at each other, silently asking each other what should be done about the noisy spy. Severus pointed his wand in the direction of her shadow and whispered something I couldn't hear. Nina yelped and jumped up.

"Fuck! You could've just told me to leave; you didn't have to use a stinging hex! Jesus Christ on a fucking stick!" She yelled as she ran to the bathroom. I couldn't help it; I had to laugh. Severus looked awkwardly down at his hands. I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips, hoping to encourage him. I tried to remember what had happened with Nina when we had kissed, but I couldn't focus. I was too busy trying to get him to open his mouth. I scooted up on my knees to try and get closer to him and placed my hands on his chest. I pushed him slightly and he fell back, pulling me on top of him. His fingers laced through my hair, pushing my mouth hard against his. I bit his bottom lip gently, urging him to open up. I thought for a second that he would hesitate once more, and he almost did, but he opened his mouth and our kissing grew into full blown making out.

This was much different than it had been with Nina, which I suppose, was a good thing because I had felt that perhaps I had enjoyed Nina more than I should have and was worried that I was turning into a lesbian. Well, it wasn't so much that I was worrying about that I was turning into one, it was more like I was worried that I was already one. I'd taken to looking at the other girls naked after that to see if I could get turned on, but I couldn't appreciate their bodies sexually, mainly because the only girl that really flounced around naked was Mariah Hawthorne and she didn't shave her legs.

Severus' free hand started to inch up my night shirt. It settled on my ribcage, but I wanted it to move further up; I wanted to feel his hands on my breast. I reached up and gently prodded it upward, hoping he would take the hint. He pulled his mouth off of mine and looked at me.

"Siobhan…"

"Severus…"

"I don't want to do anything that you will regret," he said, slowly.

"Just stop thinking, alright? Just go with it. If you do anything I don't want I promise I will stop you," I said into his mouth and began to kiss him once more. This seemed to satisfy him, but he took his sweet time exploring my body. Before long, his hands had wondered up to my breast, sending a tingling sensation through my body that settled between my legs. His hands felt wonderfully warm on my skin and I wanted to rip every shred of clothing off and just get on with it.

It went no further than that, and after a while he eventually grew tired and left. After he was gone, Nina climbed into bed with me, though she didn't say a word. She was still mad about the hex thing though I wasn't the one who hexed her. I handed her some skin salve that I used if I got sunburn and she rubbed in on her arms, still not talking. It made me wonder about her though. We had been close friends since first year, and when she brought Avery in for a late-night snog session, I always felt lonely. It wasn't because I missed Severus; it was because I missed Nina. I fell asleep that night, not quite content. Things were going to be different from there on out, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

* * *

**So, this is coming along alot faster than I had originally planned, and as soon as I get done with a chapter, I post another. There are so far 7 chapters and I'm beginning to work on chapter 8. I'm trying to draw it out as long as possible, but it shouldn't be too much longer before it's finished. **

**Anyway, enjoy.**

**Thanks for all of you who have reviewed. I said I wasn't going to post once a day, but I've contradicted myself. I'm scared my computer is going to crash (it's acting like a teenager on drugs) so I'm trying to post a lot of it so it I won't lose it all. **

**Anyway lyric of the moment: **

** "You were from a perfect world  
A world that threw me away today  
Today to run away"**

**A pill to make you numb  
A pill to make you dumb  
A pill to make you anybody else  
But all the drugs in this world**

**Won't save her from herself." **

**Marilyn Manson- Coma White. **

**Don't know why I posted that other than the fact I'm listening to that song and the lyrics have a deep meaning thats deeper than your average song. Some food for thought I guess. **


	5. The Snakes and the Mongoose

The week before first term exams, Severus and I were not able to spend quite as much time as we liked together. I spent as much time in the library studying as much as I possibly could and Severus spent most of his spare time tutoring younger students for a bit of extra spending cash. I found myself missing him more than ever and my mother had written me telling me that if I could bring a friend home. At first I thought she meant Nina because sometimes Nina would spend the holidays with me, but some how, I knew Fiona had meant some one else, a male some one else. I didn't want to bring Severus home to meet my mother, because Fiona would probably try and seduce him to see if he was loyal to me and I didn't want him to be scarred for the rest of his life. I felt obligated to at least ask him; however, I hoped he would say no.

After finals were over, Nina, Avery, Severus and I took a small, unplanned, detour into Hogsmeade. Normally, students were not allowed out of Hogwarts unless they had permission, but we really didn't care. We, however, were not the only ones who had a blatant disregard of the rules. When we found refuge in the Three Broomsticks, we were met by a pack of seventh year Gryffindors.

As a rule Slytherins and Gryffindors were supposed to hate each other. It stemmed back to the four founders. It was said that Godric Gryffindor and Salzaar Slytherin had a spat over the lovely Rowena Ravenclaw who didn't see much of anything in either of them. Miss Ravenclaw took up with a muggle man and conceived a child, but this did not stop the two men from fighting over her. Both of them claimed paternity over Ravenclaw's unborn child, and this resulted in Slytherin leaving for good; he and Gryffindor disagreed on a lot of things. It was unclear why Slytherin had chosen to leave but that was the tale that witches with too much time on their hands liked to tell.

Me; I didn't mind the Gryffindors too much. I thought the old house rivalry thing was a bit overdone, so if a Gryffindor ever crossed my path, I pretty much ignored them. I had worked with several Gryffindors during my years at Hogwarts and after the first couple of years, it didn't really matter who you worked with or what house they were from, because if they were smart, you were guaranteed a good grade.

It was a different story with Avery. When he saw the three Gryffindors occupying our regular table, he grew defensive.

If you watch a snake and a mongoose fight, you start to wonder why they're fighting. The snake could be sitting there, minding its own business when a mongoose happens to wonder by just to start something. There was no real reason for Avery to pick a fight with the Gryffindor boys, and I thought it was stupid and rather childish.

"We can find a different table, it's not that big of a deal," Nina told Avery as she tugged at his arm. Nina's stance on the Slytherin versus Gryffindor thing was the same as mine; she had even dated a Gryffindor seventh year when she was in her fourth year.

"That's our table; we always sit there! Look at that mudblood, sitting there, soiling our chairs!" Avery growled as he eyed the pretty red head girl who was laughing jovially at something that the All Mighty James Potter had just said. I found this a bit peculiar. Lily Evans had made it known that she hated Potter, so why was she gazing at him as though he were made of nothing but pure sugar? "Oi, Gryffindors! That's our table! Move it!"

Avery stomped towards the table and cleared the table top of the bottles and playing cards with one fluid, yet barbaric, sweep of his arm. Lily shrieked and two of the boys stood up, their wands drawn.

"Avery, stop it!" Nina called at him, but he ignored her as he drew his own wand.

"I don't see your name on it," said Sirius Black. His brother was in our house a couple years below us, though I didn't think much of him. He was on the Quidditch team but he was still an oddball.

"Sensitive are we? What did Voldemort take your virginity on this table or something?" Potter jeered, backing up his best mate. I covered my face with my gloved hands. They were going to get us kicked out. To make things worse, Potter and Lily were head boy and girl and had the authority to dock points or warrant detentions if they saw fit.

"Fucking move it or I'll curse your little girlfriend here," snarled Avery, inclining his head towards Lily who looked some what scared and appalled. I turned to Severus, who was standing quite still, staring at the scene. He and Potter were worst enemies, so it was a bit uncharacteristic that he didn't join his barbarian of a friend.

"You want to say that again, Avery? Threats are expulsion material you know," Potter sputtered, turning red in the face.

"Stop it right now or I'm leaving," Nina shrieked. "I mean it Avery! I'll never speak to you again!"

"Shut the fuck up, Nina!" Avery roared back at her. Everything suddenly grew quiet. I could feel the tension in the room and I held my breath as I watched my best friend. No one ever spoke to Nina Baldwin like that and lived to tell the tale. Nina's face turned white in fury, and Avery turned around to look at her, realizing fully of what he had just done. She turned on one heel and exited the bar; leaving an icy chilly feeling in the room. Avery turned back to the two Gryffindors.

"This isn't over, retards," he snarled and went to chase after his girlfriend. Nina was going to slice his balls off and force feed them to him raw. I couldn't say that I was sympathetic. He deserved it.

Severus and I found another table in the very back of the tavern and watched silently as the Gryffindors cleaned up the mess that Avery had made. Soon, they were chatting it up as though nothing had ever happened though Potter would stare our way every so often, glaring coolly at us.

"So, she's dating Potter now?" I said, glancing at Lily who reached over and gave James a peck on the cheek, causing him to blush.

"I guess so," Severus mumbled.

"That's funny considering she hated him not all that long ago. I remember when she stood up for you when Potter was bullying you in fifth year."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" His tone was standoffish, and I immediately shut up. I remembered that day perfectly; I had been standing in the crowd, watching as Lily put Potter in his place. But then Severus had ruined it; he had called her a mudblood. I wanted to stand up for him myself, but I didn't know what to do. Severus was like a wounded beast; he didn't want to be hovered over. That would only make him angry; he was the type that liked to lick his wounds in complete solitude.

"I bet once we get back to the common room, Nina will have Avery in tears," I said changing the subject. I got a small smile out of it at least.

"He'll probably be in the hospital wing, or in the morgue," Severus said, smirking at his morbid statement. Since I had lightened his mood at least a little bit, I took the opportunity to run Fiona's offer by him.

"Fiona said I could bring a friend home for the holidays," I said, conversationally. "Normally I ask Nina, but her parents are taking her to Italy, so I was wondering maybe you wanted to?" He raised an eye brow at me.

"And she's okay with you bringing a guy home with you?" I shrugged. Fiona didn't really care one way or the other. She usually spent the holidays partying and staying drunk for the most part.

"Yeah, she doesn't know I have a boyfriend, but I don't think she'll mind terribly," I prayed that he'd say no.

"I'd like to, but my mother wants me to come home. Perhaps you could write your mother and ask her if you could stop by with me and then I'll see what Mum thinks," he suggested and took a swig from his butter beer. I stared at him, hardly believing that he could find a way around this. Well I was screwed.

"I have to use the lavatory, I'll be right back." Severus stood and took off towards the front of the bar, going out of his way to avoid the Gryffindors. I stared at the table, wondering what Severus' parents were like. He had mentioned that his mother liked to read my mothers articles. This worried me slightly because I was afraid his mother would expect me to be like mine. Fiona and I had our similarities, but our personalities were nothing alike. I had to learn how to compensate for the things that she had forgotten to teach me. The things that she had taught me were not about being a kid or right or wrong. She taught me about raw, real life. When every other kid was blissfully ignorant, living in a fantasy world where adults were super heroes, I was being taught that the world was a horrible fucked up place and that I had to manipulate to get what I wanted.

I looked up because I saw some one walking towards the table out of the corner of my eye, but it wasn't Severus, who I had been expecting, but it was Lily Evans. She sat down across from me and smiled brightly.

"You're Siobhan Carncross, right?" she asked. I nodded my head, and looked over her shoulder. The other two were busy playing a game of gobstones. I looked back at Lily, hoping she wasn't going to try and start something.

"Listen, about Avery, I'm awfully sorry, he's a bit of a prick and I'd like to say he didn't mean anything by it, but he did, and I swear I had nothing to do with it," I babbled, instantly trying to explain myself for something that was beyond my control.

"I know, I'm not placing any blame and you don't have to apologize for something you didn't do," she said, shaking her wild red mane. "Just trying to be friendly, that's all. Some times it can be a bit boorish hanging around with guys most of the time. I find that I miss female companionship." I eased up a bit, knowing that I wasn't about to get my head ripped off for being associated with Avery. "So…are you and Snape an item?"

I grew suspicious; Lily Evans wasn't the gossip type. As far as I knew, no gossip had ever stemmed from her nor had I ever seen her whispering behind her hands with another girl like everyone seemed to do. She was too smart for gossip. Why did she suddenly want to know about Severus and me?

"Yeah, we've been going together for a couple of months now. What about you and Potter?"

Lily turned red.

"Well, I've been trying to keep it sort of a secret. I don't want people to start talking you know? He's changed a lot over the summer, he's head boy, and his ego has deflated a lot and…and…I sound like a complete sap, don't I?" I couldn't help but notice that her tone had become light and airy, and she seemed to be smiling an awful lot. Just then Severus snuck in behind me and clasped a hand on my shoulder. I didn't see him come back, so I jumped about a foot in the air.

"Oh, hello, Snape," Lily said a bit stiffly. Severus said nothing. Lily hopped up and nodded at Severus and then said to me, "It was nice chatting with you, Siobhan. Have a great holiday."

"You too," I said and she left, leaving a perfume scent lingering behind her. Severus took his seat next to me.

"I see you and Evans are becoming fast friends," he spat bitterly, staring after her.

"Not exactly, I'm the only other female here; I would have done the same thing."

"Let's get out of here, I'm tired of watching those two idiots and Avery is probably in dire need of medical assistance," he said, standing up. He placed some money down on the table and we left.

Our worries regarding the Nina and Avery situation had not gone completely unfounded. When we got back to the common room, everything was a wreck; a table had been turned over, a vase had been shattered (it looked like it had been thrown at the wall) and there were burn marks in some of the furniture that were still smoking. The common room was completely deserted. A small first year boy came ambling timidly from the dormitories and approached Severus and me nervously.

"Professor Slughorn wants to see you two in his office," he squeaked.

"What for?" I asked, and the boy trembled. Honestly, the upper classmen terrorized the poor things to the point where they couldn't even look at us with out fearing the worst. I felt kind of bad for him but then I realized in a couple of years, he'd be shoving first year heads' in the toilets.

"I don't know…something about sneaking off into Hogsmeade…"

"Fuck, Nina and Avery rat us out. What happened in here?" I asked him. He shook his head and then ran off. I looked at Severus who shrugged and we made our way towards our Head of House's office. Severus rapped on the door and Slughorn's booming voice told us to come in.

"Ah, Miss Carncross, Mister Snape, how lovely to see you, but very unfortunate I'm afraid. How is your mother doing, Miss Carncross?" He asked from behind his large cedar desk.

"She's alright, I suppose."

He indicated with a wave of his fat meaty hand for us to take a seat in front of his desk in the two large, green cushioned chairs.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to issue some detentions. You both are perfectly aware that sneaking into the village is strictly prohibited during undesignated hours. Of course, I don't think it's that big of a deal but Professor McGonagall seemed to think differently. After the holidays I want you both to report to me for a week after supper. I've got some chores that need to be done, but no matter. With the both of you working together, I'm sure it will pass by quickly," he picked up a box of chocolates from his desk and offered us one. I politely refused and Severus shook his head. I loved Professor Slughorn because he was so easy going that it wasn't hard to get away with anything with him lounging around. Of course, it was also easy enough to bribe him, though I'd never done anything of the sort, but I knew of quite a few people who had. I also loved him because it was so easy to obtain information from him if I buttered him up a bit, which wasn't hard. My mere presence could make him loose at the tongue because of who my mother was. In fact, it was Professor Slughorn who had secured the job at _Witch Weekly _for Fiona after she had given him some advice on how to get rid of a…lady suitor (who also happened to be a student) and was successful. He hadn't soon forgotten her, of course, any one who met Fiona could hardly forget her.

"Er…Professor…what happened in the common room?" I asked him. The walrus like professor gave a hearty laugh.

"Oh, that, just a lover's quarrel. Miss Baldwin and Mister Avery have been sent home a day early. Ah, young love."

"Is Avery alright?" I asked, a bit concerned. I knew how Nina could be when she was angry.

"Well, I had to patch up a few cuts and bruises, but nothing major, though he did some how end up with a peculiar looking rash on his neck. I think Miss Baldwin meant to turn him into a fish," he said, a bit fondly. Professor Slughorn had always been warm towards Nina for some reason. He let her get away with a lot. There was one incident that I remember where Nina had been messing around during class, just pouring random ingredients into her cauldron and it exploded loudly and took out half of the tables. He had laughed so hard I think he might of wet himself. No points were docked, for the record.

As we later found out, Nina and Avery had gotten into an all out duel, and innocent civilians were harmed. Dandra Goode (the whore) had caught the ass end of the flying vase and sustained a large cut on her arm and a third year boy had been sent to the hospital wing after accidentally being hit with a diarrhea curse. It was something that was talked about for years afterwards.

* * *

**Wah la! Chapter five. Next chapter: Meet the parents. This should be fun. **


	6. Home Bittersweet Home

**-SS-**

Severus had always hated Christmas, but something told him that this Christmas would be different. For one, he wouldn't spend it at home with his father who insisted that they go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve if all went well. Tobias Snape had told his son at a young age that Santa never existed and it was a sin to worship false idols and if he expected to get presents from a fat pedophile he was wrong. Severus hardly got anything for Christmas, save for the clothes that his mother bought second hand at a local thrift shop or sweaters she knitted him. One year, Tobias had cruelly wrapped his old trench coat and placed it under the tree with a note that read: "This is what you get for being such a brat, Santa Claws." Severus wore the old rat chewed coat as often as he could just to spite his father. It satisfied him to see his father scowl from behind his news paper when he flounced out of the door, flapping insanely to go watch the little red headed girl at the park who shared a lot in common with him though she didn't know it.

He had written his mother, asking if he could bring home a friend to which she promptly replied with a yes. His father wouldn't like it and he hadn't exactly told his mother it was a girl he was brining home. Severus didn't think she'd care too much. Eileen was always writing letters asking him if he met any one interesting and he always replied with the same answer. No, he never met any one interesting and certainly not in the female category, which he was sure what his mother meant. He also hadn't told his mother that he was planning on asking to spend the holidays away from home.

In the mean time, Siobhan had written her mother asking permission to go home with some one else before she headed home. Fiona had written back saying that it was okay with her and they had promptly informed Slughorn of their arrangements.

The day they were due to leave, Severus was starting to regret his idea for Siobhan to ask permission for him. He was scared of what she'd think of Tobias and more so he was scared of what Tobias would say to her. Leave it to Tobias to ruin everything including sex for him.

It was something that he was now very interested in, especially from listening to Avery talk about Nina and how well she performed in bed. Severus didn't actually know if they had done anything; Avery was known for blowing a lot of air when he talked, but Nina hadn't denied anything, if she had heard what was being said about her, Severus wasn't sure. But Severus did know for a fact that Avery had slept with other girls (he was the first in their year to lose his virginity in fifth year to Dandra Goode) and now that Severus had Siobhan, he didn't think it would be so bad to explore his sexuality. Since the night he had felt her up, things had pretty much progressed from there. They didn't spend much time talking; no, talking they had found out only got them so far. They rather spent most of their time making out and groping each other. There was one instance that he'd almost put his hands down her pants but thought better of it. He didn't want Siobhan to think that he was only trying to get into her knickers, though Avery insisted that's what women were good for.

Severus packed his vacation suit case, (heaving his trunk back and forth would prove to be a nuisance) trying to think of things he might need to keep himself occupied should he and Siobhan have a falling out. Now that he had thought about it, he considered his trunk again. A suit case could only hold so much, though he could have just transfigured it to make it roomier, which he did do after the idea struck him. He carefully packed his text books in on top of his clothes and waved his wand lazily, making the lid snap shut. Now the only thing left was to meet Siobhan in the common room so they could Floo to his house. She was already down stairs and had been there for twenty minutes. He admitted to himself that he had been procrastinating on purpose.

The house in which he had grown up in wasn't exactly a mansion. Everything seemed so bare and he watched for Siobhan's reaction out of the corner of his eye. He hoped that she wasn't under the delusion that he was well off; he'd never kept it much of a secret, but then again no one had really ever paid enough attention to him to ask. If Siobhan thought that the meager house was appalling, she wasn't letting it show. He took her suitcase (he had given her the idea) from her hand and sat it down by the fire place along with his own; if all went well, they wouldn't be staying very long.

"Severus, is that you?" Eileen's voice rang from the kitchen. Severus grabbed Siobhan's hand and led her into the kitchen were the dark haired woman looked up in surprise at Severus' "guest".

"Oh, hullo, I didn't realize…" she said, from her position at the cutting board on the counter. There were chopped up pieces of carrot lying on the wooden plank and Severus assumed that they were going to be thrown into the steaming pot that boiled nosily on the old stove. Severus grimaced mentally; his mother was cooking the muggle way. Eileen sat the knife down and wiped her hands meticulously on her apron before holding her hand out to Siobhan.

"Mum, this is Siobhan Carncross, Siobhan, this is my mother, Eileen," Severus said, almost dully as the two females shook hands briefly. His mother turned to him.

"You didn't tell me you were bringing home a girl," she said, almost giving him a dirty look. His mother wasn't one for surprises, but he had hoped this one would be a good one. Eileen wanted grandchildren some day and was always encouraging Severus to find a nice Slytherin girl to marry.

"Well, I didn't know how well it would go over," Severus mumbled.

"It would have gone over just fine if you had just told me," his mother said darkly and turned back to Siobhan. "It's lovely to meet you. I don't mean to seem so rude it's just that…" She started.

"Oh no, it's perfectly fine. I thought he had told you he was bringing home his girlfriend," Siobhan said, causing Eileen to raise her eyebrow even further into her hair line. Severus grimaced again; he didn't want his mother to get over excited and further more he didn't want his father to chase Siobhan off completely. Thinking of his father, Severus had noticed that Tobias wasn't anywhere to be found. Normally, Tobias wouldn't miss a chance to berate his only son.

"Where's Tobias?" Severus asked through gritted teeth. Eileen frowned darkly at the use of Tobias' first name. She had done her best to keep things as normally as possible, but there was only so much she could do. Eileen certainly wanted Severus' girlfriend to think that Severus had a normal, happy home life. This girl might have been the only shot that Severus would ever have at getting married and producing grandbabies for her to fawn over.

"He's upstairs, napping. He's feeling a bit under the weather, I'm afraid," Eileen said and went back to her muggle cooking. Severus tried not to look too jubilant at the news, but he couldn't help but get excited about prospect that the illness could be progressing into something more…something fatal. That would make his day. It was then that he realized that he was a dark twisted individual. The possibility that his father would croak shouldn't have made him smile. Water under the bridge, Severus thought. Tobias had done it to himself.

"Mum, actually, I wanted to ask you something," Severus said, glad that his father wasn't in the room. Eileen didn't look up from the stove as she dumped in a bowl full of what looked like something a smoker hacked up in the pot.

"What is it," she asked as though she were lost in her own little world. Severus noted that she probably was. Eileen had taken to escapism the moment she realized that her husband was something of an asshole.

"I've been invited to stay over at Siobhan's for the holidays. I was wondering if it would be alright with you," he said slowly, letting the question wash over his mother.

"Ah, well, Christmas is about family…and I don't know her parents…"

"Parent," Siobhan piped in. "I live with my mum, and I think you might know of her, Fiona Carncross? Severus and I thought it might be better to ask in person rather than through the owl post. I thought it would be impersonal to ask in writing. I wanted to meet you," Siobhan explained.

Eileen looked up and gave Siobhan a queer look as though she had just sprouted a halo and a pair of wings. It was rare that Eileen had ever come across some one so polite and some what nice, and the fact that Siobhan was the daughter of Eileen's idol; Severus wasn't surprised in the least at her reaction. It still annoyed him.

"Fiona is your mother?" Eileen queried. Siobhan nodded a bit shyly. "Oh well, at least I know who she is. But I'm still not sure…perhaps I should ask Tobias, if he says it's alright then I suppose..."

"Ask me what?" Severus blanched as the slightly over weight, balding man ambled heavily into the kitchen, throwing a scathing look at Severus. Tobias sat down at the kitchen table and eyed the stranger in his kitchen. "Who's this?"

"Oh, this is Severus' girlfriend, Siobhan," Eileen mumbled and tried to look busier than she already was by dicing the already cut carrots into orange dust as she stirred the pot with the other hand. "He wants to know if he can go to her house for the holidays."

Tobias didn't take his glare off of Siobhan.

"Do your parents go to church young lady?" he barked at her, causing her to jump. Severus felt like ripping the knife from his mother's gnarled hands and slicing his wrist so that he wouldn't have to hear Siobhan's feeble answer. However, to his relief, Siobhan seemed to know what to say.

"Oh yeah, I was baptized when I was born and everything. My dad, who is dead," Siobhan did the cross symbol across her chest, making Severus wonder how she knew to do that, "was a missionary in Africa."

"Godless heathens, they are. Well good for him," Tobias said, seemingly satisfied with her answer. Severus was able to breathe again, though his breath was still quite labored. Tobias still hadn't given the go ahead.

"So…um…can he?" Eileen asked, not looking at her husband but rather at the patch of air behind him. Tobias grunted and shrugged his shoulders.

"Boy does what ever he wants anyway, might as well let him."

For the first time in a long time, Severus didn't entirely hate his father. He still hated him, but he would acknowledge the fact that Tobias acknowledged the fact that Severus would continue to resist his control no matter what Tobias did to him. Tobias wasn't a stupid man; he knew when a battle had been won. If it got the boy out of his hair, well then, it couldn't be all that bad of an idea.

**-SC-**

So, yeah, I had been going behind Severus' back and had been talking to Lily Evans a bit. I had been informed by a reliable source that Lily had grown up in the same neighborhood as Severus had (which would explain a lot), and I had to ask Lily what Severus' parents were like. She told me about the fights that Severus' parents got into and how Severus resented his father. Lily told me it wasn't Eileen I had to worry about; it was Tobias. She conditioned me to the point where I wouldn't lose my cool around Tobias and had even taught me how to act around him. I wasn't supposed to flaunt the fact that I was a witch and that I was supposed to act holier-than-thou around him and for the love of God don't tell him that my mother was single by CHOICE. I wasn't aware that any muggle could be so opposed to magic, but then Lily explained religious fanatics to me. I learned a lot more about Catholicism than I had ever wanted to but it had come quite useful. Severus had gotten his way and I would've felt horrible if Severus had to spend Christmas with that horrid man. Just being in the man's presence made me think that I would spontaneously combust (granted being set on fire randomly does tend to take the focus off of everything else for a bit).

I felt like a two hundred pound bell bar had been lifted off my chest once we were out of Severus' home. I liked Eileen but the tension between Tobias and Severus was almost unbearable. If looks could kill then Severus would have made himself blind. I had been worried about his reaction to my mother but I could not begin to imagine the sort of dread he felt knowing that I would have to face his father. My problem didn't even begin to amount up to his. I made a silent vow to never ever mention anything about Tobias to Severus.

Fiona, as I expected, wasn't home when Severus and I arrived. I knew she liked to stay at the office a tid bit longer than she actually had to, so Severus and I waited patiently in the sitting room waiting for her to Floo in. When she finally arrived, she hardly seem to notice that Severus was there, for she kicked off her stilettos and took off her bra, pulling it through her sleeve and flinging it, where it landed, I didn't know. This was slightly embarrassing, but I had sufficiently warned Severus of what Fiona could be like.

"Oh, hello, doll, how are you," My mother said, in a sing song voice as she made her way to the retractable bar that pulled out from a secret compartment in the wall. She waved her wand and a drink began to mix its self mid in air in a tumbler and then poured its self into a glass.

"I'm fine. Nina couldn't make it, so I brought Severus instead, I hope that's okay," I said as she gulped thirstily at her martini. She drained the glass, smacked her lips and began to mix another one.

"Of course not it's okay! You know perfectly well that guests are always welcome. Should I have the maid clean up the guest bedroom or will he be sleeping in your room?"

I nearly choked and so did Severus.

"The guest bedroom is fine," I managed to say. She could be so excruciatingly…loose and I mean that in the best and worst sense of the word. What fun was brining your boyfriend home when he couldn't sneak into your room at night behind your parents back? It's no fun, I'll tell you what. In fact, Fiona's liberal ways made me want to become a nun and remain celibate for the rest of my life. Normal mothers didn't encourage their daughters to have sex. Fiona had told me once that married women made sex seem like such a burden when in reality it was a fun activity that was great exercise for the body and soul. Some how, I knew I'd end up having sex with Severus, but I didn't want to have it under my mothers roof, knowing she approved. It was a lot more satisfying and much more exciting, or so I thought, to do it under the rule of disapproving teachers who had no idea, like Professor McGonagall who rather liked to enforce the no PDA rule in the hallways. It would give me smug satisfaction going to her class, knowing my hair looked awful from a rendezvous that took place ten minutes prior to class.

"Oh, don't be such a prude," Fiona said, and let out a guffaw. Sometimes, I felt like the adult in this family. Fiona had no shame and openly admitted to using men for sex. I was at least grateful that Eileen conveniently forgotten that fine little detail and that Tobias was completely oblivious to who my mother was. "Oh all right, don't give me that look, Siobhan."

Fiona snapped her fingers and our maid, Trinity, appeared. Fiona gave her instructions on what to do and Trinity bowed and disappeared, probably to go rifle through my mother's jewelry box before she got around to any actual work.

Trinity was a shady character who had been fired from many other jobs and my mother felt bad for her and hired her on. Our things began disappearing (Fiona's things mainly) but Fiona merely increased her pay thinking that Trinity stole these things to sell on the black market to support her self. Eventually, Trinity became part of the family who did work occasionally, but not often. I only think Fiona kept her around as a drinking buddy since I refused to drink with her.

"I'm having a Christmas Party tonight, and you two are more than welcome to join in on the fun," Fiona said as she plopped down next to Severus. She gave him a through sight exam before she began the third degree. I was completely humiliated. She asked him all sorts of personal questions to which he responded to politely though a bit laboriously. She finished up the conversation with, "Well, darlings, I must go get ready, the guests will be arriving with in an hour!" And she left, and I led Severus up to my room.

I will admit that I pretty much got anything I wanted in life. My room seemed to show that. Severus stared around the room in shock for a moment or two; it was pretty extravagant. For my seventeenth birthday, my mother had let me revamp my room, so I went for an Arabian Nights theme. I replaced all the light fixtures with candles so the room wasn't so bright and the day bed I had since I was five years old had been replaced with a large queen sized tent canopy with lots of deep purple, gold and burgundy curtains. Even Nina had been jealous.

"And you're making me sleep in the guest room," Severus said, turning to me. I pulled out a charcoal disk from my suit case long with a baggy of incense (I loved incense) and placed the disk on a golden candle stand and lit it with my wand, letting the scent and smoke waft through out the room, making me feel slightly sleepy.

"If you want to sleep in here that's fine, but I'd rather not…you know…" I said, and blushed. "I don't want to do it here."

Severus plopped down on my bed and rolled around on the over stuffed mattress, apparently enjoying himself. He was acting absolutely giddy, like a child, which is exactly what Nina had done when she'd seen my room after I had finished redoing it. The bed frame didn't sit too far off the ground so when Severus rolled over, letting his head hang upside down over the edge, he got a perfect view of the Persian rug that had been placed meticulously at the foot of the bed.

"That isn't real is it?" he asked, his face starting to turn red as the blood rushed to his head.

"No, I'm not that rich, besides, if it were real I would have gotten mad that you'd walked all over it with your grotty shoes, which by the way need to come off," I said sticking my tongue out. He pulled them off and tossed them to the side of the bed. He sat up and placed his sock clad feet, testing the down filled mattress with his feet.

"This has got to be the coolest room I've ever seen," he said, as he eyed the large tapestry which commemorated an ancient war that hung on the wall. I didn't know what to say with out seeming like a complete snob. It was pretty cool but I was too humble to admit it.

"It's alright…" I said as I plopped down on a golden silk pouf.

"Oh come off it," he said. "It's wonderful, and you're lucky," he said and lay back on a pillow, stretching out comfortably. Just then, some one knocked on the door and before I could answer, Fiona came waltzing in wearing a very glittery red dress, with her strawberry blond hair piled up on top of her head. As usual she had a cocktail in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I told her millions of times not to smoke in my room but she didn't listen. I was allergic to the acrid smoke, and I felt my eyes start to tear up and swell.

"The first guests have arrived, and I just wanted to know if you two sweethearts would like something to drink before it's all gone. Oh and I had Trinity prepare you some sandwiches and soup but she burned the soup (honestly I don't know what to do with that girl sometimes) so I ordered some catering and it's down stairs if you two get hungry!" She said, and put out her cigarette on top of my incense stand.

"We're fine Fiona, and how many times have I asked you not to come in here smoking?" I said, through gritted teeth. The woman drove me absolutely nuts sometimes.

"Oh, right, sorry darling! Like I said you two are welcome down at the party!"

"We're fine, thank you!" I said, letting it be clear in my tone that she should leave. She seemed to take the hint and left, too drunk to let her feelings be hurt. On the way out she tripped over her own feet and dropped her glass, leaving a puddle of putrid smelling liquid on my floor. I helped her up and then shut the door and siphoned the mess up with my wand.

"Sorry about her," I said, turning to Severus who was watching on in an amused fashion. I picked up our suit cases and placed them in the closet that had been concealed. I liked my room to be neat, so I also picked up Severus' shoes and placed them perfectly aligned with another against the baseboard. This was going to be a long vacation.

* * *

**Merry Christmas everyone! **

**I wanted to point out that I have nothing against religious people, or the views of Christianity or Catholicism. It's people who use their beliefs to justify hatred and flat out hypocrisy that I have a problem with hence the reason I decided to make Tobias Snape a religious fanatic rather than the ever popular abusive alcoholic persona that other writers tend to portray him as. Tobias' personality in this story is LOOSELY based upon my own father who loathes the Harry Potter series and hates feminism, though I can not rightly say that my father is that...condemning. Anyway, thats all.   
**


	7. Christmas Parties Suck

**-SS-**

It had been decided that after a few games of poker that Severus and Siobhan were officially bored. Severus had offered to get some whiskey or something, and Siobhan had agreed. He snuck down the stairs quietly, hoping there wasn't any one there who would recognize him.

As it turned out, there were quite a few people who would have recognized him if they had been sober. They were too busy chatting it up and laughing loudly while they lounged around in various parts of the house to even notice him.

Severus snuck down to the bar area, and snatched up a bottle of champagne, (for Siobhan) a bottle of merlot (for himself) and a bottle of Fire Whiskey (just incase the other two didn't get them drunk enough.) It was surprisingly easy; then again, Fiona had offered to let them have what ever they wanted so he felt slightly foolish for sneaking around.

"Oh, hello, don't I know you?" A female voice asked from behind him. He turned around and came face to face with the legendary Bellatrix Black. In her company was a brunette with long hair who didn't appear to be too much older than him. The brunette sneered slightly at him, and he got the distinct feeling that he'd met her once before.

"Aren't you that boy that Lucius is always talking about? The one who invents all those curses?" The brunette said, giving him a queer look. He was certain that he'd met her at least once before and he was also pretty sure that it had been at Hogwarts. Severus didn't think she had been in Slytherin because if she had been, he'd know her name.

"My name is Severus Snape," he said, holding out his hand. Bellatrix took it and exchanged a secret glance with the brunette.

"My name is Bellatrix Black and this is my friend, Peony Corbin. So you know Lucius Malfoy do you?" Bellatrix asked as she let go of his hand. Severus got the distinct feeling that Bellatrix and her friend were mocking him some how, for they kept looking at each other, looking as though they were going to burst into cruel laughter at any second. He wondered if he had a zit starting to show up on his nose that he didn't know about. He touched his nose slightly, felt nothing forming there. The only thing that was accomplished by his not so suave maneuver was the secret exchange of glances between the two women.

"Erm, yeah, he kind of took me under his wing when he was a prefect," Severus said, feeling nothing short of uncomfortable. In fact, he was practically crawling out of his skin, and he hoped that this little exchange wouldn't last long.

"He's marrying my darling little sister, Narcissa, next month. Have you been invited?" Bellatrix asked, smirking. Well, no he hadn't, but when did he have the chance to talk to Lucius anymore?

"No, I don't think I have," he said with a firm air of finality. He wanted to leave, but no, Bellatrix kept going on.

"Oh, dear, well you must be on the invited list! Dear Lucius is here tonight; perhaps I should talk to him?" Before Severus could decline, Bellatrix started yoohooing at a tall blonde man. The man turned, and raised his hand in a short polite wave, and Bellatrix beckoned him to come over. "Lucius, I believe you know Severus Snape?"

Lucius puffed his chest and smiled pompously as he held out a large hand for Severus to shake. Severus shook it and immediately regretted it for Lucius crushed his hand, trying to establish his status as alpha male by showing off his strength.

"Of course I know Severus! Are you coming to my wedding rehearsal dinner?" He asked.

"That's why I called you over here, my dear future brother! Severus doesn't seem to think that he's been invited!" Bellatrix said, feigning concern over the awkward gangly boy standing uncomfortably before them. The brunette seemed to be enjoying his nervous demeanor for she cackled every so often, eying him as though she were a lion and he was nothing but a baby gazelle grazing on the yellow plains of Africa.

"Oh, but of course he is! Now, the rehearsal dinner is the night before the wedding on January twenty-fourth and it beings promptly at seven o clock, at the Malfoy Manor. You have to come; I'm in dire need for ushers!" Lucius said, clapping a hand on Severus' shoulder. Severus almost collapsed under the weight.

"I'd love to, but I'm afraid I'm still at school and I won't be able to get away," Severus mumbled, rubbing at his shoulder. There was alcohol waiting to be consumed and a potentially drunk girlfriend who might do anything while intoxicated waiting for him upstairs.

"Oh nonsense! I'll talk to Professor Slughorn. I was a member of the Slug Club you know," Lucius said, smiling offhandedly as he remembered past events. "He'll surely say yes if I ask him."

"Oh well, if you can work it out I suppose, now if you'll excuse me, I need to be getting back up stairs…"

"Do stay! We have much to talk about, Severus!" Bellatrix exclaimed and drug him away from Lucius, the brunette following after them. Severus had the distinct feeling that the two females were going to either A: Mate with him, B: Eat him or C: All of the above.

**-SC-**

Severus had been gone for a long time. I was starting to get worried about him. I was starting to get a little angry but then I realized that he wouldn't completely abandon me. I knew the temptation to get me drunk and try and get into my pants was too great for him. Of course, I wouldn't let him, but hey, I'd just pretend I didn't remember what happened and let by gones be by gones. So, I took to playing a game of Solitaire to pass the time.

As soon as I had laid out the cards before me on the floor and was starting getting into the game, some one stumbled into the room. I looked up quickly thinking it was Severus, but to my surprise it was a party guest. I was a bit annoyed but this happened a lot, actually.

"Can I help you?" I asked and the man looked up. He had the most peculiar grey eyes and the shiniest blonde hair that I'd ever seen. He was almost TOO good looking. He looked like an angel fallen to Earth. I didn't trust anything that was surreal, which he seemed to be.

"Oh, well, this isn't the bathroom," the man chuckled and I looked down and saw a bottle of alcohol clutched in his hand. The man looked around the room, and he looked…mildly impressed…not exactly the reaction Severus and Nina had had, but there was definitely approval etched across his fine features.

"Er, no, the bathroom is down the hall four doors to the left," I said, hoping he would leave because now he was staring at me. His eyes were squinted strangely as though he were trying to figure out who I was.

"Don't I know you?" he said, stepping closer. I grew suspicious. I knew what drunken people were capable of attempting, and I had been…accosted…more than once by one of Fiona's so called "friends."

"No, I don't think so," I wanted him to leave. The way he was looking at me made me uncomfortable. A small smile formed on his lips as he began to recognize me. Well fuck, I didn't want him to recognize me. I tried sending a message telepathically, telling him to leave, but if it worked, I wouldn't know because he started blabbering on.

"You're Siobhan Carncross! Fiona's daughter! Of course you'll remember me!" He said, smiling widely now. Well, it wasn't hard to mistake a Malfoy, but I'd never been fond of any of them. He had a little sister who was a couple of years below me, and I didn't like her in the least. They were rich (they had come from old money and never had to work a day in their lives), and made sure everyone knew it. Not only that but they spoke with a drawl as though they were better than everyone else and it practically took them an hour just to speak a simple sentence. It drove me nuts, and it always took it out of me to not just punch them.

"Of course," I mumbled, "How could I forget?"

"So how is my little sister doing," he asked, smirking. I closed my eyes slowly and tried not to think about Diane Malfoy. "Not giving you any trouble I hope? I've been trying to teach her to respect her superiors."

"She's not, she's fine," I said. I didn't mention that I avoided her at all cost, though. She liked to follow me around sometimes and ask me stupid questions about my mother. Most of the time Nina would tell her to scram, but if Nina wasn't around, there was Diane and her pack of idiot bitches, flocking around me like seagulls on trash day.

"My my, I love what you've done with your quarters. Very Slytherin, I think," he said as he gazed around the room once more. "You know, my fiancée, Narcissa, is very interested in interior design, perhaps you and her should get together and discuss ideas on what to do with our new house. I'm sure she'll be delighted to hear your opinion," he said, lazily. He sat the bottle of whiskey on the floor and sat down on a pouf in front of me.

I willed myself not to roll my eyes. His father, Abraxas, was buying him a house, but once his father dead, he and his wife would inherit the manor. Diane had told anyone who would listen that she would be getting the newer house. I wouldn't put it past Lucius (or any Malfoy for that matter) to try and murder Abraxas just so he could get the manor. I thought it was a waste of time for Narcissa to be redecorating the house especially since she wouldn't be living there for long.

"That would be lovely, I suppose," I said. I didn't want to spend any time with any Malfoy even if they were just a Malfoy by marriage.

"You know," he drawled, and I avoided at looking at him straight in the eye. "You've blossomed into quite the young lady. Are you currently seeing anyone?"

I focused on my cards, not sure how to answer that. What I wanted to say was, "What business is it of yours? _You're_ getting married, and I'm at least five years younger than you," which is something Nina would have said. Well, no, Nina would be drooling. She had a thing for Lucius since she first set eyes upon him in our first year.

"Now _that _is a fine work of art," her eleven year old self had said as she gazed longingly at the back of his head. "I'd give my foot just to marry that."

"Like he'd ever marry an amputee," I snorted, causing Nina not to talk to me for a week after that.

But if Nina had been me, or I had been Nina and she was in this situation with anyone else, that's what she would have said. What I said was: "I'm dating Severus Snape."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, that's what he was doing down stairs! Oh my, I didn't know! Well he's a very lucky boy! What's he doing down stairs conversing with two hens when he could be up here with you?"

I seized what I was doing to look at him. Okay, now I was angry. Severus had abandoned me to talk to two other girls when I was his host. He should have been up here, making out with me.

"Who's he chatting with?" I whispered, ready to go kill him. Lucius gave me a simpering look.

"Oh, you poor dear! You mustn't feel threatened. He's only talking with Bellatrix Black and an acquaintance by the name of Peony Corbin. Neither of them holds a candle to you! And besides, if he's going to ignore such a beautiful girl such as yourself, well then is he really worth your time?"

He leaned in closer, and I could smell the fire whiskey on his breath. Oh man, he was loaded. I scooted way back, alarms ringing in my head: DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! I couldn't tell if he was coming on to me but that's what it seemed like. Lucius grabbed my wrist, preventing me from moving any further. Great, just what I needed.

"You aren't afraid of me, are you?" He asked, smiling cruelly. Well, it wasn't that I was afraid of him; it was more like I wanted him to leave and quit bothering me. It wouldn't look good if Severus came in at that moment, especially since Lucius was holding my wrist (quite tightly and painfully I might add) and our faces were just inches away from each other. I tried to pull out of his grip, but it wasn't working. He just latched on tighter.

"It does you no good to resist," he said, staring deeply into my eyes, locking in my soul with his hard gaze. I tried to blink, I tried everything to look away, but I just couldn't. It was as though I were being hypnotized by him. I felt my vision starting to slide away like liquid and then everything was black.

I woke up, or at least came to my senses, laying on my bed, with Lucius crouching over me. I was confused, I wasn't sure how I got there and because of my disoriented state, I forgot to fight off Lucius, who was now kissing me fiercely. To make things worse, I let him and then to make things much worse, I started kissing him back. I tried to stop myself so that I could play opossum, but I couldn't even think straight. What if Severus walked in on this? He would never speak to me again!

Oh god, I thought, he's taking his shirt off! I tried to close my eyes and not look, but he had a body to die for. He smirked when he saw me gawking and swept me up in a rough kiss. He bit my lip, and I blacked out again.

When I woke up this time, I was staring in Lucius' eyes, sitting on the pouf. It was if I hadn't moved at all.

"I wouldn't dare, but I just made your dreams come true," he whispered. I stood and tried to shake the images of his chest and the way his breath felt hot and sticky as it mingled with my own. I pointed at the door.

"Out," I whispered. He smirked at me, but didn't move. "I said, get out of my room."

This time he listened. He stood and picked up the bottle and left the room, cackling to himself as he took a swig. I didn't know what had happened, or if it had been real, but if it wasn't, it sure felt like it. I collapsed down on the pouf again and began crying.

* * *

**Hey all! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I hope you all have the happiest of New Years! I myself plan on getting freaking wasted, but I swear I will not write whilst I am intoxicated. Don't drink and write folks. **

**I just wanted to let you guys know that this story is FINISHED and I will be posting the rest of the chapters within the next couple of days. It's thirteen chapters long just so you all know. I am very pleased with how it has turned out and I hope all of you do as well. **

**And for the people who recognized a certain female Death Eater from my other story, I just wanted to let you all know that this is NOT a prequel of any sort. It's a completely different story but it will be connected with _Peony: A Death Eater's Story _and _Guitar Boy _in another way in a couple of chapters. My favorite author of all time is Christopher Moore. Most of his books are connected with each other some how, whether it's just a character cameo from another book or if it's a flat out sequel. I thought it would be fun to do something like that. **

** Since this story is finished, I have also stared working on _Guitar Boy _again, so for all of my readers from that series, be on the look out for that with in the next couple of weeks (I cannot tell you exactly when, how ever). :)  
**


	8. And so it begins

**.SC.**

"So…you were mind fucked by Lucius Malfoy," Nina said slowly, making sure she had heard right. I had told her what had happened with Lucius that night. I hadn't even told Severus, for fear of how he might react.

We were sitting in Slughorn's office, serving out our detentions while Severus and Avery were busy scrubbing the bottom of cauldrons in Slughorn's classroom. Slughorn had Nina and me grading essays, and suffice to say, it wasn't as fun as it some times looked. We had to actually think to do this. We were scribbling in red quill, marking out misspelled words, grammatical errors and misused facts. After a while we grew tired and just took to marking out random things and placing a grade at the top of every essay, hoping that none of the students would read over theirs and complain.

"Yeah," I said. "It was weird…one minute I was staring at him, the next we were kissing on my bed and then I was staring at him again. Ugh, deplorable. This kid can't even spell 'scale' right…honestly what are they teaching them now days?" I remarked and scribbled out the crudely spelled word and adding "Learn to spell" over it.

"Must be a first year Hufflepuff," Nina said, glancing over my shoulder to have a look. "I've actually read about that, you know. It's kind of like a cross between Leglimency and the Imperius curse."

I raised my eyebrow at her and faked an expression of astonishment.

"You can read? Since when?"

Nina stuck her tongue out at me in a juvenile manner.

"Shut up. As I was saying before you so boorishly interrupted me, I read about that sort of mind control. I'm not exactly sure how it works, per say, but instead of extracting memories, he planted a false memory."

"Isn't that Dark Magic?"

Nina shrugged and added a curly "A" on top of a paper with a smiley face next to it. Slughorn wouldn't approve, and I thought about saying something to her about it but decided that it would be much more fun if the student asked the Professor about it. Nina the Super Slytherin wouldn't be so high and mighty then now would she?

"Who knows? As far as I can say, you're one lucky girl. Mind fucked by Lucius Malfoy, you wretch. What I wouldn't have given to be you at that moment," Nina sighed and smiled absent mindedly at the mere prospect of making out with "Luscious" Lucius Malfoy. "At any rate, at least your Christmas was better than mine. By the way, what did Severus give you?"

I pulled down my sleeve and revealed a silver bracelet. Nina grabbed my arm and inspected it closely. It really was pretty, and I had absolutely squealed in delight and engulfed Severus in a large hug and planted about a million sloppy kisses upon opening it. It completely out did my gift to him, a sleek green and made-with-real-dragon-hide journal and a few new expensive self re-inking fountain quills.

"Oh my, that is cute. I wonder how much of his personal possessions he had to sell in order to get that for you. Don't get your hopes up about Valentines Day, he might have to sell his soul to the devil," Nina sniggered and ducked quickly as I made to hit her over the head with the magical dictionary that we were using for references. Though her digs about Severus being poor annoyed me, I was still glad to see that she was herself especially after her fight with Avery right before the holidays. As far as I could tell they hadn't made up; they hardly said two words to each other. It made things for Severus and I pretty awkward, as if we needed anything else to make us awkward.

"Have you spoken to Avery since you got back?" I inquired, hoping I wasn't treading too far into the water.

"Nope and I don't intend to either," Nina said, frowning as she stopped what she was scribbling, leaving a large red stain on the parchment. "He's a bastard, I don't know what I was thinking, agreeing to be his girlfriend. The guy has no sense when it comes to women. He sits there and acts all high and mighty, like his shit smells like roses when in reality he's got the features of a fucking troll and smells like one too!"

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, not sure of what else to say to her. She slammed the dictionary shut and gave me a look. Oh yeah, I had definitely treaded into the deep shark infested water.

"No you aren't. You didn't like Avery to begin with, so don't feed me that bullshit. Look, the last thing I need right now is sympathy. I'm not sad, I'm perfectly okay. I'm fine, Siobhan. I'm just trying my best to forget about him and it's not helping for you to bring it up."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. And really, I was sorry, but not because I had said something, but I could tell that there was something bothering her. She was troubled, and I didn't like to see her like that. I was sorry because I had upset her.

"He told everyone that he and I were fucking," she said flatly.

"Were you?"

Nina blushed and turned away from me. I immediately knew the answer, and I was astonished. Nina had always talked about remaining a virgin until she got married.

"I didn't want to, but he sort of did it with out my permission," she mumbled as she stared off into space.

"And you let him?" I gasped, wondering how she could do such a thing. Nina was a girl who could hold her own, and it just wasn't right. I wanted to kill Avery.

"Of course I let him! What choice did I have? If I didn't he'd have told everyone we had anyway!" she snarled, though I knew she wasn't angry at me. I wish it could have been different for her. She sat down the quill and picked up her book bag. "I'm going to go. I'm tired. Tell Slughorn I'll make it up if he wants me to."

"Sure," I said. Nina gathered up her things and left quickly, though I wasn't sure where she was going because she wasn't heading towards the common room. I didn't like being by myself, but I knew Nina was upset. Thirty minutes later, Slughorn came in and dismissed me. He didn't say a word about Nina, so I figured she'd run into him and talked to him. Outside of his office, I met up with Severus and Avery.

"Where's Baldwin?" Avery asked.

"Not that it's any of your business, but she left early," I snarled at him, ready to kill him. He didn't seem to notice my tone, but Severus did. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, a gesture that clearly meant, "Hold your tongue." I gave Severus a look and Avery an absolutely scathing look, and took off on my own. I did not want to be in that bastard's company.

**.SS.**

"Well what crawled up her ass?" Avery asked, staring after Siobhan. Severus stared after her. He half wondered the same thing himself, but he was certain that Nina had found out about Avery telling everyone that he was sleeping with her.

"I don't know, but perhaps I should…" Severus started after Siobhan, but Avery gave him a look and Severus knew better than to leave him, though he'd much rather hang out with Siobhan and Nina than Avery. They walked down the halls together, in silence. Severus didn't know what to say to a guy who had ruined his girlfriend's reputation. Avery really was too ignorant for his own good.

"I didn't know she'd take it so hard," Avery finally said, his large feet causing a loud echo through the empty hallways. It had to be past ten o clock. Severus wanted to get back to the dormitory and take a nice long hot shower and go straight to bed. Scrubbing cauldrons really took it out of him. He had splatters of something green on his robes and he didn't care to know what it was, he just hoped it would come out. He didn't want to give Potter and his thugs something else to give him hell about.

"Well, you did tell everyone her personal business," Severus concluded. Avery turned red and sputtered.

"I'm her boyfriend! We shagged! So what? It's not like anyone cares!"

"Correction: you _were_ her boyfriend. I don't think she wants much to do with you any more, mate. And it's pretty obvious, she cares." Severus said as they walked into the common room. It was mainly empty except for a few fifth years that had so much homework they didn't know what to do.

"Oi, Snape!" one of them called. "I'll pay you five galleons if you'll finish this up for me!"

Severus rolled his eyes, but almost considered. He could always make do with some extra money, but at that point he was so tired he wasn't sure he could make it through a shower let alone a bunch of O.W.L standard written essays.

"Not tonight, I'm tired. You'll just have to make do."

The fifth year groaned and went back to work.

* * *

**Sorry, this one is kind of short. So to make up for it, I'll be posting the next chapter after I get done posting this one.**

**Happy 2008! **


	9. Problems and Solutions

**-SC-**

As the week passed by, I started to grow worried about Nina. She skipped half of her morning classes every day, but when I woke up every morning, she was gone and stayed gone until the afternoon quarter started. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she didn't say much only that she wasn't feeling well.

I think she thought that everyone was talking about her behind her back, when in reality, every one of the girls was mad at Avery. In fact, they went out of their way to be mean to him. They called him horrible names, and ganged up on him. Of course, I did nothing to discourage this, though I did not take part in it. Avery thought this was Nina's doing and had yelled at her, though she did not reply, she continued walking by, ignoring him.

Now, that probably was the smartest thing to do, but that's not my Nina. My Nina would have yelled right back at him, and put him in a world of hurt. So you can see why I was worried about her.

Not only that, but I was sort of mad at Severus as well. He had deliberately waited until the last possible second to tell me that he was going to be an usher at Lucius' Malfoy's wedding. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the general concept that made me mad; it was more because he hadn't told me until like two days before. He told me that Lucius had asked him at the Christmas party, so why couldn't he have told me then? Now I had to spend a day and a half with out anything to do. There was always Nina, but as I mentioned before, she wasn't much for talking. There was Dandra Goode, who I no longer considered a whore after talking to her some, but I couldn't make out with any of them.

The night he left, I kissed him good-bye. I almost started to cry because we'd hardly been apart since we'd gotten together. I know, it's sappy, but as soon as he stepped through those flames, a pinch filled with loneliness tugged at my throat. I was immediately bored, and Nina was no where to be found. In fact, there was no one to be found. I figured she was at the Quidditch pitch, celebrating Slytherins' latest victory against Hufflepuff, as was every one else. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate but at least I wouldn't be alone, so I decided to go up stairs and grab my coat, scarf, gloves and cap as it was a very cold night.

The dormitory was dark, but I instantly figured out that I wasn't alone. There was a low muffled choking sound coming from one of the beds. It was strange and it was a bit creepy, but I figured the sooner I got out my stuff and got out, the better. As I neared my trunk, the sounds got louder. It sounded like they were coming from my bed, in fact. I carefully pulled the curtains open, only to find the silhouette of some one lying in my bed. I lit the lanterns with my wand and the figure sat up.

It was Nina.

She looked surprised and began to wipe at her eyes. I realized with numb horror that she had been crying. Her eyes were swollen and her pretty porcelain skin was red and blotchy.

"Oh, Siobhan," she said, and smiled brightly, though not convincingly. "I thought you were going out to the pitch. You scared me!"

"Well, I was, but I was going to grab my coat and go because I figured you'd be there…" I said, still a bit shocked at her appearance. Nina never cried. Well, there was this one time she dropped a cauldron on her toe, but that was understandable. But I don't think she'd dropped anything on her foot this time. The shock of seeing her in such a state finally began to wear off. I plopped down beside her. "Nina, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just tired that's all," her reply was choked, and the tears came on again. She placed her head on my shoulder and sobbed. I stroked her hair and rubbed her back, trying to soothe an explanation out of her.

"Is this because of Avery yelling at you last week?"

"No, no, Siobhan, you wouldn't understand!" She wailed. I know I shouldn't have been worried about it, but she was getting snot on my shirt. "I fucked up!"

"Nina, please, for the love of god, tell me what in the hell is going on! You're scaring me!" I pleaded. It was always Nina who had comforted me, and yeah, it was a bit scary to see her like this. She sat up and took several deep shuddering breaths.

"I'm pregnant," she said, calmly.

Well, that certainly wasn't what I was expecting. But it did make a lot of sense. I was a bit shocked, yeah, but she was my best friend. My reaction probably wasn't the best response to her news, however.

"Goddamn Nina!" I yelped and jumped up, almost frightened that I'd catch the pregnancy bug if I sat too close to her. Nina started sobbing again, this time wailing louder than ever before. I sat back down and hugged her really tight, to let her know that I was there for her, though I would prefer it if she didn't slobber on my shirt any more.

"I'm so screwed!" She wailed. "I didn't think…" Her words trailed off into a chorus of crying. I held her until she calmed down again, though it seemed like it took for ever.

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

"Positive," she sniffled. "That night in detention, I went down to the library, and I got sick. I threw up for ten minutes. I went down to the hospital wing and they couldn't find a single thing wrong with me. I thought maybe it was because of all the stress, what with breaking up with Avery and all of that, but I hadn't gotten my period since November and… and…oh this is just one big mess!"

"It's Avery's isn't it?" I asked, just to make sure. She gave me a dirty look.

"Of course its Avery's who in the hell else's would it be? God, Siobhan, just because I'm pregnant doesn't make me a whore," she said. I couldn't help it, I had to giggle. The look on her face reassured me that she was the same Nina, pregnant or not. "What am I going to do, Siobhan?"

"I don't know. Have you told anyone yet?"

Nina shook her head furiously. "But it felt good to tell some one. My parents are going to kill me," she said, looking suddenly exasperated. I hugged her really tight, and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.

"We'll figure it out. Fiona will know what to do, want to talk to her?"

"I don't know, she might tell my parents."

"She doesn't know your parents, and even if she did, I doubt she'd say anything with out your say so first."

Nina considered this for a moment, and then nodded her head. Because I was of little help to her, and she didn't want to talk to her parents just yet, Fiona was our only option. I probably should have asked Slughorn if I could travel home first, but I didn't think we'd be there long and the common room was deserted. If Slughorn found out, I'd just tell him that I'd forgotten a text book or something.

When we arrived, Fiona was in the drawing room, drinking tea with Trinity (probably spiked tea), laughing up a storm. She turned her head, stood, and engulfed me in a large hug. She didn't seem at all concerned that I should have been at school, not at home.

"Oh darling, how is Severus?"

"He's fine," I said into her cleavage. Fiona finally noticed Nina standing there in her pajamas. She let me go from her lung crushing hug and observed her.

"Oh my, is that you Nina Baldwin?" Nina smiled sheepishly and lifted her hand in acknowledgement. "My, you've gotten so pretty! And I wondered where Siobhan was learning it from!" Fiona beamed at Nina all though Nina was a mess. She hadn't brushed her hair, there was dry snot smeared across her nose and her eyes were swollen and red. Nina smiled sadly. Fiona motioned for us to sit down. She offered to make us some drinks, and shooed Trinity away. Both of us declined, though I could tell Nina was sorely tempted.

"So, what brought on this unexpected visit? I don't suppose it's because you missed your dear old mother, so tell me, what's going on?" Fiona asked, surveying me over her reading glasses.

"Well, Nina, she's got this problem, and we didn't know who else to turn to…" I started but Fiona held up her hand.

"Say no more. Siobhan be a dear and switch places with Nina. Personal contact is important when your trying to be maternal, remember that darlings." I scooted over on the red crème divan, and Nina took my spot. Fiona took Nina's hands in her own and stared her dead in the eye. "Let me guess…boy troubles?"

"Well…sort of…" Nina said, shifting uncomfortably. I placed my hand on her back and she sat up straighter. I was letting her know that I was there for her.

"Okay, well you're going to have to tell me more than that, I can't help you if you don't," Fiona said, as kindly as she possibly could. Nina seemed to be at a loss for words so I spoke for her.

"She's pregnant," I said. Nina stiffened and watched my mother's reaction. Fiona seemed indifferent, how ever, which helped Nina relax a little.

"Oh, well, that is a bit of a pickle, but no matter, darling. Fiona shall help you. What about the father?"

"He's a prick," I piped up. "He told everyone that he was porking her, which granted, they were, but it wasn't any one's business."

Fiona nodded. "Quite right you are, Siobhan. He does sound like a jerk, but I want to know how Nina feels about him." She looked into Nina's eyes, but all Nina could do was cry. Fiona snapped her fingers and Trinity appeared with a glass of wine. Nina tried to decline but Fiona insisted. "It won't hurt you any, or the baby. I drank a glass a day when I was pregnant and I had no problems at all. Just don't over indulge and you'll be fine."

Nina needed no further convincing and took the glass, draining it within a few gulps. She handed the glass back to Trinity who disappeared promptly, probably to go finish off the rest of the bottle of wine. I made a mental note to go check and make sure that my room was locked securely. Severus had placed a few security wards on the door and around the room after I had voiced my fears concerning Trinity.

"I hate him. I want nothing to do with him, but I'm scared. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this on my own. I just don't want to end up in a loveless marriage. I want to be happy," Nina said, sniffling a bit. Fiona nodded.

"So don't marry him. No one is telling you that you have to," she said.

"My parents will once they find out," Nina said glumly.

Fiona thought for a second, before speaking again. I didn't know what advice she'd come up with, but I hoped it wouldn't be too terrible. Nina needed real answers, and Fiona was her only hope if she wanted to be happy.

"He told everyone that you two had been shagging right?" Nina nodded. "Well, he's already ruined your reputation. If by some chance he finds out, just claim you'd been sleeping with some one else and that you didn't know who the father is."

Nina looked horrified, and I couldn't blame her. That was appalling. But after letting it sink in and mulling over it a bit, I realized that it could work. I turned to Nina who looked at me, looking hopeless.

"Nina, think about it," I said. "He won't want anything to do with you. That will leave you free to marry who ever you want. As messed up as that sounds, it could work."

"My parents would kill me," Nina said, turning white. "They'd either disown me or make me get rid of it and I want to keep it!"

"Nina, if your parents love you they won't do that to you. This is your life, sweet heart; you're the only one who can live it. You have to do what your heart tells you. If all else fails, you've always got a home here with Siobhan and I isn't that right Siobhan?" Fiona said. For once I was glad that she had a big heart. A lot of the time it was quite troublesome especially when she let people with nothing to offer us live here. It was usually me who kicked them out. But this was actually helping some one who actually needed.

"Of course you do, Nina. You know that."

After ten more minutes of crying and planning, Nina finally came to the conclusion that she'd try and keep it a secret for as long as she could but Fiona told her she was going to have to tell her parents sooner or later because by the time she went home, it'd be obvious that she was pregnant.

When we got back to the castle that night, the party was still going on. The common room was still deserted. I took a quick glance at my watch and realized we'd been gone for no longer than thirty minutes and the Slytherins were certainly prepared to party until some one told them to stop, which might not be for a while especially since it was on a Saturday.

Nina stopped me and gave me a quick squeeze in the dark, fire lit room.

"Thank you, you're the best friend any one could ever have," she whispered. I pat her back awkwardly. "I love you Siobhan."

"I love you too, Nina."

"Well, that was quite a beautiful exchange, but I think everyone is wondering just where you two have been," said a quiet cold voice that sent shivers down my spine. Nina stiffened in my arms. The voice was coming from the black leather arm chair that was sitting to our direct left, blocking our way to the dormitory.

"It's none of your fucking business, Avery," I said, as calmly as I could. I was angered by the mere sound of his voice. After all he had done to my best friend; I couldn't see him in a good light anymore. Not that I ever could. I never thought he'd do what he did, but I thought he'd at least have more tact then to stalk her. I was feeling protective of her mainly because she was so vulnerable.

"This doesn't concern you, Carncross," he said slowly. "I want to know where you've been, Nina. I want to know why you won't talk to me. Don't make me report you for leaving the school grounds," he threatened. I was too pissed off to be intimidated.

"What makes you so bloody sure we left the grounds? Can you prove it, you fucking idiot?" Well, I had reached my boiling point that was for damn sure. Who did he think he was? "Where we have been is none of your business. In case you haven't noticed, she doesn't want to talk to you!" I grabbed Nina's hand and pushed passed Avery who was too shocked by my calloused behavior to try and stop us. I wish he would have. It would have given me reason to hurt him for what he did to her.

**-SS-**

Severus quietly picked himself up from the tall bed and pulled his clothes on. He took a deep breath and tried to comprehend what had just happened. At a quick glance back at the sleeping pale blond form and a pinch to a random piece of skin he was able to be sure that yes, he had just had sex with Narcissa Black who would in less than twelve hours time become Narcissa Malfoy. It had happened so fast he didn't have time to even comprehend what had happened until the deed was over and he was busy stewing in guilt.

Well that wasn't good.

Of course, there could be no bragging rights and he was at least glad that she had been drunk and had been the one to seduce him, not the other way around. No, this wasn't his fault. Narcissa had been crying on his shoulder one minute and the next she was smothering him with sloppy, drunken kisses. Could he really be blamed that she had wanted to take his pants off and ride him mercilessly? Well no, but he could have stopped her. And had he? No. At least she had been drunk and wouldn't remember any of it the next day, and if she did? Well she wouldn't tell anyone. And neither would he, simply because he was embarrassed. He hoped to hell she wouldn't remember, especially since he'd lasted maybe five minutes and that was about it. But guilt is what he felt the most. He'd taken advantage of a drunken woman, who was engaged, and he had cheated on his girlfriend. Well he hadn't meant for it to happen, and it was Lucius' fault for sending Severus to find Narcissa in the first place. And now Lucius would have to figure it out for himself when he took his seemingly virginal bride on the wedding night only to find that she wasn't so virginal after all anymore. It would serve him right.

And Siobhan…

He wouldn't tell her.

She'd be hurt.


	10. Future Death Eater

**-SC-**

January soon turned into February and with February came Valentines Day. It would be my first, in which I actually had a Valentine to call my own, but unluckily for us, it fell on a Thursday, but there was a Hogsmeade trip scheduled for the following weekend. Nothing was official as for a date with Severus and I, but I had just assumed, though he hadn't talked to me much since he got back from the Malfoy wedding. I assumed it was because Avery was feeling alone and demanded Severus' constant attention. I wasn't all together sure that Avery wasn't trying to convince him to break up with me. Not that it mattered; I spent most of my time with Nina, who was a little less than a train wreck.

Nina had written to her parents, and told them of her predicament. And…well…it didn't go well. Now, their reaction was understandable and it wasn't as bad as Nina was making it out to be. They had simply suggested that Nina give it up for adoption if she didn't want to get married to the father. And if she didn't know who the father was, like she told them she hadn't, they suggested that she figure it out because if she wanted to keep it, she needed some kind of support. Of course, Nina being Nina and being Nina pregnant was over sensitive and sent back an emotional letter and they hadn't quite replied. In fact she practically screamed every time the owls swooped in at breakfast, dropping paper envelops and sometimes even the spare parcels like large oddly shaped dung. None of it was ever for her and that only made her more depressed.

It had been weeks since I had actually spent time with Severus; I tried hunting him down, hoping that he'd officially ask me out for Valentine's Day. No such luck. The guy was the master of avoidance. I just left it alone, I didn't want to cause a fight, but I didn't like being ignored.

It was the Tuesday before the Hogsmeade weekend when I finally managed to actually catch him. I'll admit I was being a bit weird, who in the hell sits in the common room until midnight, waiting for some one to show up? I did. I was sick of being ignored. He came in by himself, thankfully, free from Avery's needy clutch. He didn't see me at first as he slung his book back over the back of the couch, and plopping down next to it. You would think he'd of gone straight to bed, but he just stared into the fire for the longest time and then pinched the bridge of his nose. It was then that I decided to step out of the shadows.

"Headache?" I whispered as I made to sit down beside him. Severus jumped from his trance and moved his book back aside, allowing me room to sit down. I adjusted my bathrobe and he placed an arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

"Kind of. What are you doing up so late?"

"I was waiting for you," I answered simply and cuddled up to him. A rush of warmth spread through my body; I missed this. "Where's Avery?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't just pop in at some random (inconvenient) moment. I might have to kill him.

"He snuck off into to Hufflepuff Den; he found himself a new girlfriend. He probably won't be back for a while," Severus said. "How's Nina doing?"

I blanched; I hadn't told him about Nina yet. In all honesty I was scared he'd tell Avery. That was the last thing we wanted; the Headmaster had been informed, so all the teachers knew, but they weren't going to breathe a word. Nina was seventeen, there wasn't a thing in the world that they could do except pray. Dumbledore had made it clear that Nina was welcome to stay at Hogwarts as long as she thought she could. He thought it would be a grave mistake to kick her out of school and denying her an education, though it was clear that some of the teacher's didn't agree. They thought that Nina would become too distracted to focus on her school work, though it was clear that she wasn't due until July, maybe August. There was no official date yet. We knew we couldn't hide her pregnancy for ever, but we were going to prolong any one finding out as long as we possibly could.

"She's…as good as she can be," I replied, hoping it was a safe route.

"As she can be?" Severus inquired. Well damn, I'd gone and fucked that up. Now I was going to have to tell him. I hadn't talked to him in forever, and this wasn't what I wanted to talk about. I wanted him to ask me out to Hogsmeade, damn him!

"Well…promise you won't tell Avery?"

"I swear on his mother's grave," Severus said.

"Nina is pregnant."

Silence.

More silence. I bit my lip.

"Wow," he finally managed. I was frightened for a minute that he'd jump up and demand that we try and find Avery so we could break the news…but this was a bit of a relief. I still wasn't sure that as soon as I left he wouldn't go back and tell Avery. And if Avery caught wind of something, then Severus would be the first that he'd try and milk it out of.

"You cannot tell Avery," I begged.

"I won't, Siobhan. You ought to know me better than that. I do, however, want to know why I can't." I sighed, and came to the conclusion that he deserved at least some sort of an explanation. After all, if he knew the reason why then maybe he'd be less inclined to go spill everything to Avery.

"Well," I started, not really sure how to tell Severus that his best mate was a real scum bag. "He was a real jerk to her. After they broke up he had Mulciber try and feel her up just so he could actually say that she's easy," I said, starting to get angry all over again. I wish that Avery possessed Christ-like powers so I could kill him over and over again. "And of course, he's told all the boys everything, and they all spread rumors about her. It's a good thing none of the girls believe him. She just doesn't want to be with him, and if by some chance that Avery finds out that she is, you know…pregnant, you can't tell him that its his."

"And how is this going to help her reputation?" Severus asked, blinking confusedly. The flames in the fireplace danced, casting eerie moving shadows on his face.

"It's already ruined, Severus. She doesn't care about her reputation. All she cares about is that baby and the life it's going to live. If her parents find out that it's Avery's they're going to demand a marriage, and Nina has made it clear to them that she's not getting married, not at least to the father of her child."

"Avery isn't so bad," Severus concluded, frowning a bit. "Besides, he knew for a fact that she was a virgin and told everyone that he'd been her first. Now, I'm not saying anything against Nina, but Avery isn't as stupid as you two think he seems to be. If he finds out, he'll know. He already suspects something."

This upset me a bit; he wasn't supposed to defend Avery. Severus knew what Avery was like; he knew that Avery was saying horrible things about Nina that weren't true. Severus of all people that Avery was a fucking brute and that had treated Nina horribly; he had seen Avery in action. Severus had been there when Avery had berated Nina in front of god and everyone.

"It's not about Avery, Severus. This is about what Nina wants, not what he wants," I said, furrowing my brow.

"It's his baby, of course this is about him," Severus hissed. "I don't think its right that she wants to deny him the chance of being a father!"

"Nina didn't ask for this!" I said, heatedly. Well, so much for my romantic Valentines Day. I wanted to be with Severus, but at that point in time, Nina was my top priority. We'd been close way before Severus and Avery came along; she was like a sister. It was like her blood ran through my veins. We'd seen each other through thick and thin, and no stupid boy would ever come between us; not even Severus. Nina needed me, Severus wanted me, and there was just no choice. I'd always choose Nina first.

"Of course she didn't! But if she can't take responsibility that comes with having sex then maybe she shouldn't have been fucking!"

"Oh and what makes you so bloody sure that she even wanted to fuck?"

"Nina is a big girl; I highly doubt that she didn't want it. She can fend for herself."

"Avery is an even bigger boy! She told me what happened, and I can tell you for a fact that she didn't want to. He did it anyway!"

"That's not the way he tells it."

This struck a nerve. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to beat Severus senseless for even believing a word that barbaric imbecile had told him. Severus swept a lock of greasy hair from his face in an annoyed fashion.

"Since when has he ever told the truth about anything?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice. I didn't want to cause a scene and give everyone an excuse to talk about me. I'd gone through most of my years at Hogwarts invisible to everyone except Nina; I wasn't used to things being said about me. "Besides he wasn't even your friend until you started dating me!"

Severus raised a skeptical eyebrow at me.

"That's completely false. Avery and I have been friends since first year if I'm recalling right."

"He _tolerated_ you, Severus! There's a fine line between being some one's friend and just tolerating them, so don't you dare try and defend him! He cannot and will not be redeemed in my eyes," I said.

"Don't be so stubborn. You hardly know him! How do you know what kind of father he'd make?"

"The fucker is a future Death Eater, that's not an environment that any child should grow up in!"

It was taboo to even bring up The Dark Lord or his followers. His descent into power had been a rough transition for a lot of kids in Slytherin because a lot of their parents were Death Eaters. Slytherin was the house that The Dark Lord and his views were accepted in. Some of us clashed; some of us disagreed and some of us were full fledged followers. The kids who were stuck in between caught the brunt of it, and not just in the Slytherin house, but every where else. Don't be fooled into thinking that every Death Eater's kid had it easy and was feared because of their parents; that was completely and utterly false. They were feared by the other houses and fear only instigates hatred. A lot of Death Eater's kids were picked on and bullied. The pressure on them was twice as much in the Slytherin house. Many were expected to follow in their parents' foot steps, and a lot of them did, though I wonder how many of them had actually wanted to.

"What if I said that I wanted to join up?" Severus whispered, narrowing his eyes.

"That's your choice, but don't expect me to buy into the whole Pureblood mania bullshit," I sniffed and sat back down. I didn't want to fight with him, I really didn't, but I found it hard to keep my cool these days. I hadn't talked to him since I found out about Nina's predicament, and it seemed as if he were going out of his way to avoid me now that I had thought about it. I wanted answers, but I didn't know how to get them with out seeming like a total bitch. I wasn't married to him, and I didn't want to breathe down his neck, but I cared about him and I didn't want this relationship to go down the drain because of miscommunication. How was I supposed to get him to talk if he didn't volunteer? Would it take another Estrogen Potion? Was it really worth it?

"I'm sorry, Severus. I'm tired and I miss you. This whole year has just been one huge mess after another, and I'm worried," I sighed and closed my eyes. My anger had simmered and I felt hot tension roll down my cheek in the form of a tear. I had spent so much time trying to be strong for Nina that I'd completely forgotten how to be strong for myself. I couldn't just keep it bottled up in side of me; it had to come out some how. "I'm worried about Nina, I'm worried about N.E.W.T's, and I'm worried about what's going to happen after we leave. I don't know what's going to happen. Hogwarts is all I've known for the past seven years. The world is a big and scary place, how am I supposed to deal with all of this?"

More shame fell down my cheeks and splashed in my lap. I felt weak. Severus knew it. He placed his arm around me and held me in a half hug.

"It's life. That's what happens. You've been given lumps and all you can do is deal with them. You're young yet, and besides it's only February, June is a life time away," he said and I dried my eyes. "Oh, that reminds me, what are our plans for Valentines Day? I haven't actually ever had a date, so I'm kind of at a loss here…and since you're a girl I thought maybe you had a better idea of what to do…" Severus trailed off.

I pepped up, even if it was just for a little while.


	11. Pink Hearted

**-SS-**

Valentines Day: what a crock of shit. Severus hated the very idea of it, let alone actually going out and doing something. Christmas was bad, but Valentines Day was the worst. He'd be expected to be openly affectionate which he couldn't stomach. It was hard enough to do it when he and Siobhan were alone. Now he was expected to be affectionate for a whole day, in front of god knew who, and to make things worse, he hadn't gotten Siobhan a single thing. She'd be expecting chocolates or something else sappy, romantic and cliché. He didn't know what to get her; Avery would, but if she found out that Avery was picking out her gifts (he definitely wouldn't tell her that Avery had paid for that seventy galleon bracelet that she wore on her wrist) she'd rip it up and burn it.

Well, goddamn, it wasn't Severus' fault that Avery was a prick and neither was Nina getting knocked up! Why was Siobhan acting mad at him for something that Avery was responsible for? Severus secretly hoped that Siobhan would stay a bitch for ever, that way it would make it easy for him to hate her so he wouldn't have to hate himself for fucking Narcissa. If Siobhan kept acting the way she was then he could break up with her guilt free. Something, however, told him that it wasn't that easy. He'd have to deal with the guilt for now.

Severus dressed in his some what formal robes and made his way downstairs. He immediately spotted Siobhan sitting in the common room, reading a magazine, dressed as she did normally, casually, making him feel over dressed. He wanted to change, so he ran back to the dorm and changed into a pair of jeans (that his mother had found on whole sale at a local outlet) and a button up shirt (that he did not tuck in). Once he was satisfied that he'd be comfortable, he approached Siobhan and held out a hand for her to take.

Once they were in the village, Severus suggested that they go to a girly little tea house owned by a short witch named Madam Puddifoot. It seemed, however, that they weren't the only couple who had come up with that idea. They couldn't find a table and Severus noticed that James and Lily were openly dating now as they were sitting in the far corner, staring at each other with sickening smiles that made Severus want to vomit, or maybe, beat the crap out of Potter. He grabbed Siobhan's hand and fled; hoping to find somewhere a bit less…mushy. He loathed pink, and Puddifoot's was stricken with pink. To his relief the Hogs Head was much less crowded (and by crowded, it was deserted) and much less…Valentinesish. Perhaps it wasn't the most romantic spot on earth, and probably not the most sanitary, but at least it was quiet. Siobhan found a table and Severus ordered to bottles of Butter Beer from the bar tender who demanded a largely over inflated price. Severus grudgingly paid the man and dusted off the bottles before handing one over to Siobhan. He sat down with a large sigh and popped the bottle cap off, reaching across the table to do the same for Siobhan.

"I'm sorry, this isn't how I wanted this to turn out," Severus said, gloom shadowing his face. Siobhan took a swig of her Butter Beer and shrugged at him as she gulped down the rich drink.

"Could have been worse," she said, and suppressed a burp. Severus grabbed her hand and held it, not really caring if the bar man saw them or not. While he spent most of his time trying to avoid her so he wouldn't feel guilty, Severus really did miss her. What he had done with Narcissa Malfoy that night had been unspeakable torture. He wondered faintly if Narcissa felt the same way; knowing that her husband had cheated on her before they were married wasn't exactly a justifiable reason to fuck some one else too. If Severus ended up marrying Siobhan, he did not want that sort of marriage. He didn't want his wife to end up hating him and then herself for making a horrible mistake.

"I didn't get you anything," Severus murmured, openly embarrassed by his poverty. "I know I was supposed to but I couldn't really afford it."

"That's alright, I don't expect you to try and buy my love," Siobhan said casually. Severus gulped. Had she just dropped the L-bomb? "I'm just grateful I get to spend the day with you." Siobhan smiled and squeezed his hand. Love? Had she just said love? It was a frighteningly ghastly word and he'd never see fit to ever use it. What was the matter with her, saying words like "love" like it wasn't a big issue?

"L-love?" Severus sputtered unwillingly. It burned his tongue like a rather acidic potion to even speak the word. Siobhan turned red upon realizing what she'd said.

"I didn't- I meant- not that way," she said, snatching her hand back from his. Severus realized that he'd hurt her feelings, which wasn't what he'd meant to do. "I just meant that I don't want you to feel obligated to buy me things to keep me happy. I'm not that kind of girl," Siobhan concluded after finding her tongue.

The silence hung over them like low thunder clouds, neither of them sure what to say next. Severus nursed his Butter Beer, training his eyes at the tobacco stained walls, looking anywhere but at Siobhan who was determined to do the same thing.

Finally, after the silence was unbearable, Siobhan spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm going to give you something though, I hope you don't mind."

"Depends on what it is," Severus said, wondering what on earth she'd gotten him. He watched her face, searching it for clues, but to no avail. She merely turned red, and he thought that maybe she'd gotten him something super expensive and was just as embarrassed by her wealth as he was of his well…lack thereof.

"Well, um…I'd prefer if we had some privacy," Siobhan said, eyeing the barman who was glaring at the two. "Shall we rent a room?"

Severus had forgotten for a second that this was a tavern as well as a pub. He nodded his head slowly and stood up, allowing Siobhan to lead the way. She handed the barman a few coins in exchange for a key, though Severus could have done with out the suspicious glare. It wasn't like they were going to go upstairs and fuck. Siobhan grabbed his hand and led him upstairs, and he followed like a loyal puppy dog, wondering what she could possibly have on hand for him.

Siobhan unlocked the rusty keyhole and they stepped into the room. It was ill kempt at best. The sheets were dusty and it appeared as though no one had been in the room to sleep in much less clean it. Siobhan scrunched her nose in disgust. Ever the neat freak, she waved her wand a few times and the dust started unearthing its self, stirring sneezes in Severus and Siobhan alike. Severus leapt to the window and pried it open, letting the cool air in and the dust out. Once the room was sufficiently dust free, it was safe to close the window again and a fire was lit in the blackened fireplace, casting a warm aura around the room.

"So, um, I hope you didn't do anything to extravagant for me," Severus said, sitting down on the bed. Siobhan gave him a shy smile and sat down next to him, hiding her hands in her sweater sleeves.

"I wanted to discuss it with you first," she said, blushing furiously. "I wanted to…well…you know…"

Severus stared blankly at her. Siobhan turned crimson.

"Sex?"

Severus stared strangely at her for a second, wondering if she was trying to say what he thought she was trying to say. He could certainly say he hadn't expected it, and was getting turned on just thinking about it.

"Sex?" He repeated, a bit shocked. Siobhan grimaced, and buried her head in her hands.

"Oh god, this was a horrible idea!"

"You really want to?"

Siobhan looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"Well…only if you want to," she said, softly.

"Alright."

"I was hoping you'd say no."

"We don't have to," Severus said, growing frustrated. She was being confusing. This is why he had chosen a life of solitude since he and Evans had that falling out. The female species were too complicated for their own fucking good. He was a guy; of course he wanted sex, but he wasn't a complete jerk and wasn't going to make her do something that she wasn't comfortable doing.

"I want to but I'm scared," Siobhan muttered and hopped up only to start pacing the bare wooden floor.

"Well…um…if it makes you feel better I've...never…um…you know…before either" Severus mumbled, not really sure if what he said had made any sense at all. Siobhan stopped dead in her tracks. He thought for a second she'd caught him in his lie.

"Well that's great. Neither of us is going to know what to do," she said.

"It's not that hard to figure out I'm sure," Severus said.

"Well I know how…but neither of us know what to expect…I mean Nina gave me a bunch of potions, but I don't know what any of them do…I'm useless when it comes to potions…" Siobhan started babbling nervously, looking like she was about to start crying.

"Well let me see them, I can probably tell you what they do," he suggested, gulping nervously, his chest about to burst with excitement. He was barely able to keep the glass phials steady in his hands as she handed them to him from her bag.

"This one is a contraceptive," he said, holding up one. "You take that one," he picked up another one filled with a silvery blue liquid. "This one is an endurance potion. I assume I'm supposed to take this one for myself. The darker blue one is a calming draught, I assume for nerves and the last one is Essence of Euphoria. Clever girl, Nina is," Severus said amusedly, though he was a nervous fucking wreck. Yeah, he'd done it before, but if he showed that he had some experience she'd figure out that he'd gone and had some one else.

"So, I paid for four hours, we can either sit here and twiddle our thumbs or make good use of our time," Siobhan said, shakily.

"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable doing," Severus said slowly, half way hoping she'd back out. It's not that he didn't want to pork her; he just didn't want to feel guilty. He didn't love her, he liked her a lot, but love was a stretch. He rather thought that sex was something that took place between two people who loved each other but then he remembered his encounter with Narcissa which had pretty much screwed his ideals up.

Siobhan sat down next to him once more on the bed. She picked up the beaker filled with the darker blue potion that Severus had identified as the Calming Draught and drank half its contents. After a moment or two her face eased, though her serious expression did not falter. She looked him straight in the eye and said, "The first time won't be comfortable, I'm aware of that much. The sooner I get it over with the better. I'd rather it be you than some one who doesn't like me for me. It was always going to be you."

Severus stared at her for a moment, wondering what he should do. Should he agree with her or tell her that she was wrong, or that he didn't want to do this with her? Should he tell her the truth about Narcissa and get it over with or should he continue lying just to get rid of the lingering feeling that seemed to never leave his groin every time Siobhan was around?

He didn't have time to answer his own questions as Siobhan had taken the light pink contraceptive potion and downed it, and smiled feebly at him.

"That takes ten minutes to go into effect hence the reason a lot of people think it doesn't work," Severus commented. Siobhan nodded.

"Nina told me."

"Siobhan, I'm serious, we don't have to do this," Severus said, quietly. If she changed her mind then the reason that they couldn't wouldn't be about him.

"Do you not want to?" Siobhan asked, raising an eyebrow up at him. Severus shook his head furiously.

"No, of course I want to, but I think you're being a bit hasty about this."

Siobhan leaned forward and kissed him gently and gave him a hug.

"I've been thinking this over since that night that we first kissed. I was waiting for the right moment, and I know we've had plenty of opportunities before, but it wasn't the right time. I can feel it, right now, it's now or never," she whispered into his ear, picking up the bottle of Essence of Euphoria up. She let go of Severus and indicated that he should take the last potion, which was sitting by his leg. He reluctantly picked it up, and held it at eyelevel as his mind struggled to end the inward battle that was being fought. He slowly uncorked it and brought it to his lips.

"It's the day of romance," Siobhan said, smiling serenely as she watched him. He quickly swallowed the silvery blue potion and the battle was over. He was going to do it, but first he'd need some of that Essence of Euphoria which he gently took from Siobhan. As soon as the warm, sweet liquid graced his lips, he felt as though he were in heaven. Siobhan had never looked so beautiful nor had she ever seemed so sweet. Her skin was glowing and her hair flowed and bounced as she laughed and shook her head. Everything seemed to be slowed down as she called his name, tantalizing and simply angelic, "Severusssss…" her lips looked delicious, he couldn't do anything but reach forward to taste them. Her eyes didn't close as he invaded her mouth, but they twinkled like blue diamonds, he couldn't tear his gaze away from them. His hand found her cheek, her skin feeling smooth like the skin of a peach. He pulled away from her candy mouth and gazed at her.

"You're beautiful," he said, feeling a bit overwhelmed and breathless. Siobhan smiled and stood up. Severus couldn't help but feel like he was in the presence of an angel. Everything about her, the way she looked, the way she moved, the way she sounded was innocent. Nothing turned him on more then the thought of taking it that sense of bliss away from her.

She started to unbutton her blouse, and Severus watched on, completely mesmerized by the show. Every single finger seemed to caress each button as though they held some unknown significance in the world. In some weird sense, Severus felt as though he were really going to have intercourse for the very first time as the incident with Narcissa had happened so fast he didn't even know what had happened until after the fact. This time he would be able to savor every single second of it, he would be able to make an emotional connection…

The blouse came off and landed so delicately on the floor that Severus thought for a moment that it could be made out of air. He gazed at her; she was smiling as she undid her lacy white brassiere and cast it aside. Two ample, fully shaped breasts greeted his sight like two strangers who were eager to meet him for the first time face to face. He wanted to reach up and greet them properly, but Siobhan was so far away. Severus beckoned her with a commanding finger, urging her to come closer. Siobhan gave him a coy smile and shook her head. Normally he would have thought that she was a bitch, a tease, but he knew that his patience would pay off if he waited just a bit longer. The same fingers that had undone the shirt buttons in such a careful manner reached in to Siobhan's elastic waistband and slid her trousers off leaving her in only a pair of white cotton briefs that almost blinded him because they were so immaculately pallid. There was no doubt about it; Siobhan had to be an angel.

Siobhan began sashaying towards him, her hips swinging. She stopped within a few feet of him, closer than before but not closely enough for him to reach.

"I saved the last for you," she whispered. Her voice had taken on an airy, husky tone, and it was almost musical. As she finished her sentence, she took two steps towards him, finally allowing him access to her. Instead of letting him touch her, she pushed him backwards, making him fall on his elbows. As she climbed on top of him, her knees on either side of him, she began to unbutton his shirt in the same delicate manner as she had on her own. His shirt was thrown open and Siobhan leaned forward, kissing his neck, running her fingers up and down his bony torso, only stopping to rake her finger nails softly through the small scrap of hair that had started to grow between his nipples.

"You're driving me absolutely mad," he groaned, throwing his head back. Teeth raked his Adam's apple gently, causing an immediate reaction from his crotch. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to rip off her knickers and fuck her senseless, because the urge was becoming something more than just an annoying itch. His hands found her hips and he gently but swiftly maneuvered them both so that he was on top of her. The panties were removed promptly, his belt was unbuckled, and his pants and underwear were pushed down around his thighs. He ran a hand down her cleft, pausing only to apply pressure to her clit, causing her to shudder. It was most effective, she was wet before, but now she was soaking as though a dam had been busted. He positioned him self at her opening, only inserting the tip of his phallus in.

"I'm about to fuck an angel," he said, almost to himself before slowly pushing himself in to her all the way. Siobhan whimpered and her body tensed as he broke through her barrier of innocence. He almost felt guilty; her face was contorted with pain. He reached forward and she latched on to him, as he began to slowly work his way in and out of her until she finally relaxed and started grooving against him. He wasn't sure how long they'd been at it, but he did know that he enjoyed it more than he could have ever enjoyed anything else. As he pumped steadily in and out of her, he watched her face cycle through an array of emotion. It appeared as though she was in an immense amount of pain, though she was smiling a bit and forcing him to go at her harder with her knees. Not a word was uttered but a few sighs and gasps from her, and he had to resist the urge to moan himself lest it ruined the moment. Narcissa had been a screamer. She screamed so loud Severus had to cast a silencing charm on her. She had brayed like a fucking donkey. Siobhan was much more pleasant.

Comparing the two was wrong but he couldn't help it. Siobhan was sober for one, and wasn't acting like a complete child. For another, Siobhan had a tuft of soft hair growing between her legs while Narcissa's patch had been mowed down with stiff prickly stubbly shadow starting to grow in. He found himself not worrying about finishing too quickly, and he found himself not having to worry about Siobhan spewing chunks everywhere while they were going at it. That, he thought, would have been a mood killer.

There was just no way he could contain himself any longer. He didn't know how to tell if Siobhan was getting close to having an orgasm but he calculated her body language to all he had read about the female anatomy (he had to endure many pages on menstruating but the chapters on sex had been well worth the excruciating knowledge about the twisted workings of the uterus). Her body was tensing up more, her sighs had become louder like soft mewing from a kitten, and she was frantically forcing him to drive into her at full force with her legs. It would be safe for him to explode inside of her, and he did so as she gave a deep thrust, digging her nails into the flesh on his back, and then relaxed. He climbed off of her, panting heavily and lay down beside her, pulling his pants back up underneath the blankets.

"That wasn't so bad," Siobhan concluded, clutching the blankets above her bare chest.

"No, it wasn't," Severus said shortly. He wasn't much for talking, especially since the Euphoria potion had warn off and a niggling of guilt started to weigh down on his chest.

"Severus?"

"What is it?"

"Don't hate me, but I love you," Siobhan whispered and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Siobhan, don't."

"Don't what? I'm just telling you how I feel!" Siobhan said, sitting up.

"Don't go saying stupid things like 'I love you' to me. You don't know me. You don't love me," Severus said. Siobhan bolted up and immediately began pulling her clothes on. By the way she snatched her stretch pants up and threw her bra and shirt on, Severus could tell that he'd made her angry. Once she was fully dressed she rounded on him.

"I can't help how I feel!"

"You don't know how you feel!"

"Don't you dare tell me that," her words sunk in like crippling poison. "I know how I feel and neither you nor anyone else can tell me other wise! What is your fucking problem? I thought that you'd be happy that I finally plucked up the courage to fuck you!"

Severus sighed and took in a deep breath. He had to tell her the truth, it was inevitable, especially since she told him that she loved him. Perhaps it was true, but he didn't deserve her love, he wouldn't accept it.

"I'm sorry, Siobhan. You don't know what I've done, and I'm really sorry."

Siobhan gave him a weird look. He couldn't live with the guilt anymore.

"That night I went to the Malfoy's for the rehearsal dinner, Narcissa had fled the party and Lucius sent me to go look for her. I found her locked away in a bedroom and she was drunk and upset so I comforted her and that only just spawned into something more than it should have."

Severus couldn't bare the silence. Siobhan's face turned white and she pointed a shaking finger at him. He hoped she would yell and scream; it would make him feel better. He hoped she'd break up with him; he deserved it. He didn't want her to cry. God help him if she started to cry.

"I thought you were different," she said, her voice tumultuous with emotion. "You lied to me; you told me you hadn't before!"

"I'm sorry Siobhan," Severus said.

"Fuck you, you're just like Avery!"

"Siobhan…" That stung just a bit. He wasn't a womanizer, he made a mistake.

"No, don't even try and explain yourself. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Don't talk to me, don't even fucking look at me anymore."

And with that she fled.

Severus felt a little more heart broken than he should have.

* * *

**I tried to create a half way artistic sex scene instead of something completely sleazy because this chapter ends on a bitter note. So tell me, what you think. **


	12. Not So Long Ago

**-SC-**

I should have seen it coming.

I should have known.

That didn't make it any easier.

I thought I'd never get over him, but I found as the months passed by that the pain slowly began to fade away. I didn't cry over him. I didn't go into hysterics, but that didn't stop me from feeling bad and most of all hurt. It was hard to watch him from far away, like I used to. I was only grateful that he didn't tell anyone what had happened at the Hog's Head Inn that night. I kind of wish he had; it would have made it easier to be mad at him.

I just couldn't be.

I missed him. I also knew that if I went back to him that things would not be the same as they had been before. The fact that he had cheated on me would have hung over our heads, constantly nagging me until I felt nothing but hatred towards him. I didn't want it to be that way. I really did love him; I couldn't get over that fact. It hurt even more to know that he didn't love me back.

It was a good thing I still had Nina to help me study for my N.E.W.T's or else I would have never passed or graduated. Of course, the fifth years were having to deal with the O.W.L's which in a way were worse, due to the fact that what they passed would determine their future, and they had to take way more tests than we did. That and I had already figured out what I wanted to do with my life, thanks to Severus.

The day after he asked me to be his girlfriend, we had spent the next day at the lake, lounging lazily underneath the shade of one of the many trees that bordered the shore. We had stolen a few sandwiches from lunch and picnicked in the sunshine, enjoying the day, enjoying the casual sense of warmth that was shared between the two of us.

Over a couple of bottles of butter beer, Severus had asked me what I wanted to do after I left Hogwarts and got out of Fiona's house. I hadn't really thought about it until then. Well I had, but I was confused. I didn't know.

"I don't know," I answered, staring off into the distance, watching the giant squid that Severus and I had named Leroy warm it's tentacles in the sun.

"Well what did Slughorn suggest when you did career counseling?" Severus asked, swallowing a large bite. I giggled and brushed a piece of leaf out of his hair. It wouldn't be too long before winter would be there; we were having a rare warm day for the first day of November and we were determined to enjoy it.

"Well, I couldn't decide and neither could he," I said. I had considered being a healer, but I wasn't cut out for it, I was never an exceptional student. I made decent grades but not with out a little effort and help. If I were to become a healer, I'd have to be able to think rationally on the spot, and I just couldn't do that.

"Well, what do you like doing?"

I thought for a second. I liked doing a lot of things, but my passion was playing the cello. Fiona had encouraged me from a young age to take up something creative, like painting or writing, so I could have something to take my mind off the real world even if it was just for a couple of hours. I'd taken her advice and sought cello lessons, and the rest was history. I was very good at what I did, though I didn't have much time for it during the school year but that's practically all I did during the summer. I loved sitting out side, plucking away melodies that seemed to come out of no where during the summer holidays.

"I like playing the cello, but I don't really think that would make a suitable career."

"It can if you're determined enough," he shrugged and began picking at some of the yellowing grass.

And I was. That's when I realized that's what I really wanted to do. I was going to do it. I had already sent in an application to audition for the near by muggle village's youth orchestra. I had a good feeling that I was going to make it. Being a musician I knew would be tough, but I had a supportive mother who would help me along the way. If it hadn't have been for Severus, I would have spent my life wondering what the hell I wanted to do with my life. I wouldn't have been happy with anything else.

But now he was gone. It was almost as if he were dead. Perhaps he was busy like all the other seventh years studying and what not, but he was like a ghost. I only saw him when I least expected it. If I happened to catch his eye, he'd stare passed me, as though I wasn't even there. Maybe I was the ghost. That hurt most of all.

"You're beautiful," he had said. The way he had looked at me that night, I felt as though I were truly special, that I was significant, that I wasn't just another face in the crowd. I wondered if he had stared at Narcissa Malfoy that same way. I wondered if it was all just a ploy to get into my pants. If it was, it had worked.

"You're beautiful," he had said.

He was a liar.

**-SS-**

The rumors that had circulated around Severus bothered him. Did the Slytherin's have nothing better to do than gossip? He hated being the main subject of the gossip circle. It disturbed him like nothing else. What got him the most, however, was how accurate they were. Siobhan had dumped him because she'd caught him cheating on her. Well, it wasn't entirely true, but it was damn near close enough. Severus had dumped Siobhan because he was planning joining the Death Eater's Legion once he had graduated. It was true. He'd met with The Dark Lord at the rehearsal dinner. Apparently some one had told him that he spent most of his youth learning curses and hexes and had even come up with a few of his own. The Dark Lord was far more taken with his ability with potions. The Dark Lord wanted to put him to work making obscure, some what deadly potions for him while he molded Severus into a respectable citizen despite his half-blood heritage. The truth was, Severus hated potions, his real passion laid within the Dark Arts, why couldn't anyone see past his bloody potions reputation? Any dolt who could read properly could mix a potion. It took real brain power to create something new, something exciting, something that could control a life or even end one…

That was where his future was; with potions. No matter how hard it was for him to accept, that's what would become of him. No one would ever see past it…and that depressed him. At least when Siobhan was part of his life, he had something to distract him from the depressing thoughts that seemed to plague his mind whenever he had time to actually think about life in general.

But he had ruined it with her.

He hadn't meant to hurt her; he hated himself. He hated himself because he couldn't love her back. It's not that he didn't want to; it was because he couldn't bring himself to betray Lily, though she'd long since betrayed him.

When all the finals were over and done, Severus found himself relieved and a bit depressed once more. Studying had kept him busy along with tutoring and he didn't have time to think about how crappy his life had gotten. Avery, who had noticed that Severus was feeling a bit down, encouraged him to take part in the End of Year festivities that the Slytherins were famous for.

"Get drunk, live a little, Snape. Women aren't worth all of this pain and misery," he had said. Avery wouldn't let him so Severus was forced to follow him to the party that he didn't want to partake in. He wanted to sulk, he wanted to feel guilty, and he wanted to feel pain because he deserved it.

The common room was filled with drunken idiots. Some one had managed to sneak a case of bottle whiskey into the school and it was lucky for Severus that there was an unopened bottle of merlot sitting lonely on the table next to the hard liquor. He snatched it up and retreated far away from the fools who would have to take the train ride home the next day with a god awful hang over. He found a dark, deserted room that was used as an isolation chamber for the more troublesome students who saw fit to cause mayhem. It was a step above getting expelled. Severus was glad that he'd never caused enough trouble to have to spend a week in the "clink" as it was so delicately dubbed by the students that had to stay here. They said it was like being in prison. Tonight, it would be unoccupied, or so he thought.

He pushed the heavy door open, and was surprised to see that some one had lit the torches that lined the walls. He looked around, searching for the culprit. To his surprise and horror, Siobhan was sitting at the dark metal desk that stood in a lonesome corner, scribbling something on a piece of muggle notebook paper. A large text book was lying open, not far from her left hand. She looked up at him, surprised by his sudden appearance. Severus' heart skipped a beat.

"I didn't realize that this room was being occupied, I apologize," Severus started to leave.

"No, you can stay, I don't mind. I know how you hate crowds," she said.

"I wouldn't want to impose…"

"Don't be stupid. If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have told you to stay," she replied tartly. "Besides, I don't mind the company."

Severus contemplated leaving anyway, but his cursed feet started moving in her direction. Before he knew it, he was standing directly behind her, trying to make sense of the drivel graced the pages of the text book.

"What is this?" He asked. Severus wasn't sure he wanted to know; but it would keep the awkward silence away.

"It's Theory of music. I signed up to try out for a youth league orchestra in August and this is part of the exam. It's boring. I'm bored. Let me have some of that wine."

Severus searched around for a corkscrew, but to no avail. His face flushed red with embarrassment. How was he supposed to drink the wine if he had no corkscrew to open it with? Siobhan held her hand out, asking for the bottle. He gave it to her, and she sat it down on the desk drawer. She rummaged around in one of the desk drawers and found a knife that was used to cut potions ingredients with. The blade was plunged deep into the soft wooden cork and was worked out with a small popping noise. Severus grimaced at the misuse of an important tool. Siobhan took a deep swig from the bottle and handed it to him.

"The thing to know is that you've got to be smarter than the cork," she said, giving him a cheeky smile. He stared at the open bottle of wine, not sure he wanted to drink it anymore. Siobhan frowned at him. "We've kissed, hell we shagged, we've shared each others germs before so don't be such a snob."

Severus grew numb; he was ready and willing to pretend that none of that had ever happened. He was sure she was too. To prove to her that he hadn't forgotten, he took a quick gulp and passed the bottle back to her. Not a word was uttered as the bottle was passed back and forth. Before Severus knew it, the dark green bottle was empty and he was feeling sufficiently buzzed and light. By the small far away grin that was plastered on Siobhan's face, she was feeling the same way too.

"You know, Severus," Siobhan said, hiccoughing. "I took all the same classes you did on purpose. I liked you and wanted to be near you. I even sat behind you so we could be partnered together." Siobhan smiled sadly at him, and her hand kept flinching forward, as though she wanted to grab his. "I know it sounds stupid, but, I think things were better off when you didn't know who I was."

"I knew who you were," Severus replied after letting her words sink in. "Speaking truthfully, if I had known that you liked me, I would have asked you out a lot sooner."

"You're lying. I'm not stupid, you know," Siobhan said calmly. "I spent all my free time watching you. I know you liked Lily Evans, it was pretty obvious."

Severus started sputtering, not sure what to say. He couldn't deny a thing, but he didn't want her to know the truth either. Finally, he collected his thoughts and his tongue so he could defend him self.

"Like and liked are two different things. We both made our choices and we both went our separate ways. She's nothing to me anymore. She made it quite clear about who she wanted to end up with," he said, a bit bitterly.

"I'm so sorry, Severus. I really am. I should've known that you and I wouldn't work out. I could have just told you no and spared us one giant fucking mess," Siobhan said. She began fidgeting with the piece of notebook paper that she'd been writing on.

"But you said yes," Severus whispered. Siobhan shrugged at him, as though it were a proper response. Severus placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stiffened upon contact. "I'm glad you said yes and I'm really sorry for what I did to you. I don't want you to regret anything. It wasn't your fault."

"That means a lot to me," Siobhan said, placing her hand over his. "You're a wonderful friend."

"Just a horrible boyfriend," Severus managed to smile a bit. Siobhan laughed despite herself.

"You weren't a horrible boyfriend. You're just a guy, but if you ever get married, don't cheat on her. She might not be as nice as I am."

"I'll keep that in mind," Severus was relieved that Siobhan had forgiven him. It would give him peace of mind to know that at least one person didn't hate him. This put him in such a good mood that he bent down to give her a kiss with out even thinking. He started to correct himself, but much to his surprise, her lips met his. It was the gentlest kiss that he'd ever received, and it filled him with a deep sense of warmth and loneliness. He missed her, but he knew nothing would ever come out of it, ever again. After a few moments, he came back to his senses and broke the connection that held them together. He stared deeply into her blue eyes, and realized for the first time that he had a friend. She wasn't his girlfriend anymore, but he hadn't had a true friend in such a long time, that he'd forgotten what it meant.

"You're still beautiful," he told her.

"You're still an asshole," Siobhan said but then she patted his cheek affectionately. "I'm joking, but thank you. I needed some closure."

Severus was about to reply, but some one knocked on the door. The two looked up just as the door flew open. Nina waddled in, looking utterly miserable. She was frowning deeply and her normally perfectly combed hair was in complete disarray. Her belly was large, and Severus could see that she was having difficulty walking.

"There you two are. This stupid party is the pits. I can't fucking drink and Avery keeps giving me the evil eye," she grumped and sat down with a grunt on a small stiff cot.

"You shouldn't curse, you're about to be some one's mother," Severus said, with a smirk. Nina stuck her tongue out at him and flipped him the bird.

"My back hurts all the time, my boobs are swollen and I'm so horny I don't know what to do with my self, so shut the fuck up or I'll shut you the fuck up," Nina replied tartly. She lay down heavily on the small dirty pillows but then immediately sat back up. "Jesus what in the fuck did they fill this mattress with? Fucking rocks?"

"They don't call it the clink for nothing," Siobhan said, with a silly grin on her face. Nina eyed her suspiciously.

"You've been drinking haven't you? Oh dear god, please don't tell me you got laid! I might have to kill some one!"

Siobhan rolled her eyes at her grumpy best friend and sighed.

"Yes, I've been drinking, but not that much and no I haven't gotten laid. We were talking until you barged in, you cow."

Nina threw one of the pillows at Siobhan with an annoyed scream, though it missed Siobhan's head by a couple of inches. Siobhan tossed it back at her. Nina forgave her friend's transgression (you don't call a pregnant girl a cow and expect to not get swung at) and put the pillow back into place. Severus watched the two in amusement. It was too bad he hadn't had much of a chance to hang out with them as friends; they seemed to have a good time with each other.

"Well, feel free to ignore me. I wish I could masturbate, but I can't see past my many chins, let alone find my girl bits," Nina said with a sigh. Siobhan scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Well that makes for a lovely mental image, thanks for that," she said.

Nina waved her off as though Siobhan had paid her a real compliment.

"It was my pleasure. Now please hurry up with your reconciliation or what ever it was that you were doing. I'm bored."

The three spent the rest of the night, having a laugh, teasing each other, crying over what would happen after they went home, though that was mainly the girls, and discussing what they were planning to do in the future. Little did Severus know that it would be the last time for a very long time that he would feel that good again.


	13. Epilogue

**Ten Years Later...**

I make way through the twisted vast hallways of my old school, heaving my heavy cello case. I try not to drop it as memories come flooding back. There is the painting that Severus and I debated about. It features a servant girl, a squib no doubt, milking a cow as the master's children play around her. There is a bucket of spilt milk lying in the hay next to her, but the servant girl is smiling and shaking her head, rolling her eyes in a fashion that clearly says, "Children will be children." To Severus, the painting was making a statement about the significance of the power that purebloods held over muggles and other non magical folks. To him it was saying that blood over powered all, so that not even an adult woman could chastise a small child because the child had authority over her. To him it meant that the servant girl had been conditioned to the point that she enjoyed being dominated.

To me the painting says, "No use crying over spilt milk."

I am applying for a teaching position here at Hogwarts. I don't know why I've brought my cello with me. It's been my constant companion since I left Hogwarts myself, so I suppose it's something of a security blanket.

I'm qualified enough; I got an O on my Defense against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. I should be able to snag the position with ease. But I am uneasy. I'm going to be married in a month's time; my future husband wants me to have a stable job so that when I'm ready to start a family we'll be comfortable if not well off. Leo doesn't want me to give up on my dream, but he knows the bohemian musician lifestyle can be a bit stressful, especially since I'd hit it big five years after I left Hogwarts. The fame got to be too much for me and the money didn't last very long. I'd made a few stupid investments in my self righteous glory and most of the money I had made was gone. I had a break down, and moved in with Nina for a few months before she introduced me to her husband's brother. Leo had come into my life at a very crucial point, and I was a bit wary of him at first, but he slowly helped me pick up the pieces that was my life and put them back together. We'd been together for two years before he finally asked me to marry him. We moved in together and I made my money by giving cello lessons and performing shows with bands like the Weird Sisters. The best part about getting married to Leo is that once we tie the knot, Nina and I will officially be sisters, a bond that we'd always shared, but now it was going to be official.

Nina had given birth to a healthy baby girl whom she named Felicia the July after we left Hogwarts. She lived with her parents for a bit, but then she got a job at the Ministry of Magic in magical pharmaceutical research and made enough money to support her self and Felicia. She never heard from Avery again. She met Ed at one of my concerts and hit it off really well with him (he adored Felicia and even went on to adopt her later on) and got married to him six months after she met and gave birth to her second child, a boy named Lucian (can you guess who inspired that one) a year later. She is happy and is even happier that I will be marrying Leopold in December.

As I grow closer to Dumbledore's office, my nerves really start to kick in. I feel as though I want to vomit, and I want to run to the nearest toilet so I can. I take a deep breath and set my cello case down. It feels awkward and stupid in my hands. If I get this job, my life will change. I hate change. I won't give up on music forever, but I realize that it's time for me to settle down. I'll always be a musician at heart, but as I grow older, the lifestyle will become more tedious than fun. Perhaps I can talk Dumbledore into starting a music program here at Hogwarts, a choir or a student orchestra. Dumbledore had an open mind; surely he will hear me out.

I pick up my cello case once more, but before I can tell the ugly gargoyles that guard the stair case that leads to the Headmaster's office, I hear my name.

"Miss Carncross," some one says. I turn around and I see Severus Snape walking towards me. He approaches me and regards my cello case with a reproachful eye. This certainly is a surprise.

I had heard many things about what had happened to Severus after he left Hogwarts, and most of them turned out to be true. I completely forgot that Nina had told me Dumbledore had given Severus Slughorn's old job after Slughorn had finally retired.

I cannot tell what he is feeling at this moment, but I study his features and demeanor. He looks the same, only he's got a mustache beard combo, he's got deep lines creasing into his face, and the scowl he wears looks as though it's been tattooed there. It doesn't falter. I am taken back to the days when I witnessed him smiling, rare as it was. Those days seem like a fairy tale as I gaze at his sour persona.

"The Headmaster has had to take a sudden leave of absence. He requests that you follow me to the teacher's lounge and wait for his return, though he assures you that you will not be kept waiting for very long," he says, and eyes me coolly. He whips around before I can reply and I have no choice but to follow him.

He stops in front of a large door, lays his palm upon the door and the door opens with a click. He points his wand at a light fixture and it burns to life, blinding me momentarily. I take a seat at a large table, and he sits across from me, his hands folded together in front of him.

"Perhaps you are not aware, but I am also applying for the Defense position," he says shortly and stares at me as though I'm nothing but an irritable insect that needs to be squashed. I grow uncomfortable under his scornful glare. "My interview has been scheduled as soon as yours is finished. Only two other individuals besides you and me have offered to take the position, so you'll have to excuse me if I seem some what…rude. I've been applying for the job since I started working here and I feel my chances are better than they have been in years."

For the first time, I'm able to find my voice.

"It's alright. I'm competition. I understand."

He sneers at me.

"Forgive me, but I do not feel as though you are. If I am recalling correctly, you were a mediocre student."

His words sting me, but I cannot argue with him. The only reason I'd done so well on that portion of my N.E.W.Ts was because of him. My feelings are not hurt. He seems to realize that he's being a bit of a prick as his scowl lets up, though not by much.

"I saw your wedding announcement in the _Prophet_. I congratulate you."

"Thanks," I mutter. I wonder how the news had impacted him. Had he been jealous or had he been happy? Was he only congratulating me because it was the polite thing to do? His expression tells me nothing.

"Are you pregnant?" He asks suddenly. I am shocked that he has come to this conclusion.

"No, at least I don't think I am. Why do you ask?"

"You're a musician. Musicians don't give up their free lifestyles to become teachers," he says. I stare at him in bewilderment and he changes the subject. "I read about you in all of the papers. You certainly have lived up to your mother's reputation for being a bit on the eccentric side. I still cannot fathom why you financially backed a dim-witted idea like the Dragon Muzzle. Even a mongoloid could tell you that scheme was a fiasco waiting to happen."

He sneers again. I refuse to feel stupid. I am nothing like Fiona.

"I was young and stupid," I replied, looking down at the table, wishing I was somewhere else.

"That was three years ago," he says, and I look up to see that his sneer is gone and has been replaced with a teasing grin. I can't help but smile back at him.

"I've grown up a lot in three years," I say. "And not because I'm pregnant," I add after seeing him raise a skeptical eyebrow at me. The man that sits before me, I realize is the same boy who I had my first kiss with and who I lost my virginity with. He is the same person. I don't know why I'm feeling so nervous around him. He knows me; he knows every inch of me.

"I still don't under stand why you've taken an interest in this job position," he says.

"I've realized it's time for me to settle down. Leo wants me to make some of my own so when we do start a family I'll be making a stable income versus the money that I was making every so often as a musician."

Severus nods his head; he understands. "It sounds like you've found your self a good man to marry."

I nod my head; Leo is my light. I don't know what I'd do with out him.

"He's very level headed where as I'm very impulsive. He's my voice of reason, I suppose."

"And I wasn't?" He raises his eyebrow. I blanch. He's bringing up old memories once more. Surely a man of his grandeur was above remembering the past and old girlfriends. I don't know what to say.

"Well, you weren't very patient, I don't suppose," I finally manage. He doesn't say anything to me but he rather stands up and starts to rummage around in a cabinet behind him. He pulls out a bottle of wine along with two glasses and he pours two drinks. He hands me one.

"You're trying to sabotage me by getting me drunk?"

"Perhaps, but I'm drinking as well as a sign of good faith," he says and raises his glass to me in a toast. I do the same, our glasses clinking together in harmony. I take a sip and let the bittersweet liquid roll down my throat. I mumble a word of thanks. We are quiet for a while, and my nerves are gone after the liquid in the glass is. I realize that Severus has done me a favor. He has done me many favors over the years. He showed me that I could get a boy's attention and that I was likeable. He helped me come out of my shell. He asked nothing in return from me. Sure he'd turned into an asshole over the years, but I owe him something.

I stand up; there are plenty of other stable jobs that I am sure I'm qualified for. I pick up my cello case. Severus stares at me strangely.

"Would you please tell Dumbledore that I've changed my mind about the job?"

He smiles faintly when he realizes what I'm doing.

"I think I can do that."

I leave, hoping that Dumbledore will choose Severus who is more than just qualified. He is made for the job. He deserves it.

**_The End_**


End file.
